S3EP12-Lawrence Harris-Gratitude > Doomscrolling — I Show Teens & Parents How to Reclaim Hope and Perspective

Herb: 00:00:19

I now have the pleasure of introducing Lawrence Harris.

Lawrence is a speaker who helps teens and young adults believe in themselves, think differently about their future, and make better choices.

Growing up, Lawrence dealt with severe bullying and mental health challenges.

As he began to see improvement in his own life, he began speaking to teens and young adults, sharing the strategies and methods that helped him build self worth and a life he is proud of.

Welcome, Lawrence.

This is a very important topic.

Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your knowledge.

Lawrence Harris: 00:00:50

Thank you.

It's great to be here.

Kristina: 00:00:53

Yeah.

Whenever we did our pre chat, as I do with most of our guests, it was really important for Lawrence and I to make sure that, you know, not only are we talking to the teens and the young adults in the crowd, but also the audience, the listeners who can make that impact and help their teens and their young adults grow and become very, very successful.

So, Lawrence, you mentioned a little bit in your bio about bullying and things that weren't going well for you, but what else caused the passion to actually be out here on speaking routes, on podcast, things like that.

Tell us just a little bit more about why you had to go this far instead of just serving local.

Lawrence Harris: 00:01:31

Because I know that the great thing about the Internet is you have no idea who you can help.

When I first started making like, you know, just little tick tocks when I was 15 years old, me walking down the street and sharing my thoughts and opinions, I would see people from all across the world who would comment, like people from Japan and China and Indonesia.

So as great as it is to.

Lawrence Harris: 00:01:55

Go to a local library and do.

Lawrence Harris: 00:01:57

An event there, putting it on the Internet, you have no clue how far your impact will reach.

Kristina: 00:02:05

Absolutely.

And that's one of the reasons why we wanted to do the podcast as well, because we wanted to reach parents all over the world, because parents are parents and they often face a lot of the same struggles.

So we can help a lot of different people.

Herb: 00:02:18

Yeah.

So as a kid, I was one of those really smart kids who got bullied a lot.

And actually, so so was my wife.

So both of us have been through lots of bullying.

Depression in teenage years is pretty rough.

I came out of it, went to college, and like, tried to turn that chapter off in my life and forget about it.

And it's kind of weird.

38 Years later, I'm back in my hometown where I and some of that weight is coming off as I see the lives of the people who had been bullying me.

And it's like, man, I can't believe I let that person person destroy this much of my life.

But I didn't reach out helping people.

I. I closed the door and walked away.

And you took that door and you opened it, and it's like, you know what?

I can help other people.

How, how again, was it.

Was it just coincidence that that started, you just made tick tocks and then it took off?

Or.

Or was there some sort of a plan to actually try and reach out and start helping people?

Lawrence Harris: 00:03:23

Well, the way I decided to get into it was I had a therapist, so someone helped me.

And I know that most young people, most adults, most people in general, either do not have the money for therapy.

They do not have the access to a person who can be a therapist for them.

There's stigma, there's legal thing they have to go through to get it.

Maybe their insurance doesn't cover it.

So I was learning a lot of stuff that was helping me.

And once I realized that a lot of people aren't able to get those resources, I just wanted to say, hey, guys, here.

What I found out, it might help you, too.

So I didn't.

I didn't start with, like, a plan.

I didn't start with some full, clear idea on what I was going to do.

I just said, I want to turn on this camera today and speak to people and hope that it helps somebody.

Kristina: 00:04:21

And it's so very important because, you know, these shows are never medical advice.

They're never, oh, this is definitely going to work.

But it's from our experiences, from your experiences.

What helped us might help somebody else.

And that's super, super encouraging and inspiring.

Herb: 00:04:37

Yeah, I have tremendous respect for that, too, because many Years ago, about 15, I hurt my head really bad, and life got really dark and way darker than.

Than when I was bullied.

And.

And as I crawled out of that, I did the same thing.

I started reaching back to help people come through what I did, because, man, it's.

It's miserable.

Lawrence Harris: 00:04:58

And.

Herb: 00:04:59

And people are more valuable than that.

So it's like, you know, what if I can help just one person, even if I never see them?

So I start again.

I started, like, putting stuff out on the Internet kind of the same way.

So much, much respect.

And you had a question there.

Lawrence Harris: 00:05:12

Thank you.

Kristina: 00:05:12

Oh, yeah.

One of the things I was going to ask is like, you know, let's jump straight in, right?

This is a show about strategy and helping people.

What's one of the biggest messages that you want either parents or these teens, these young adults to hear from you?

And from your experiences, I would say.

Lawrence Harris: 00:05:30

One of the biggest for, especially for teens.

I have like two, one for teens and one for their parents.

Yeah.

So for the teens, I would say don't trust everything you see on social media because when you're already feeling insecure and you're already feeling like down about yourself and you're going on social media and you're seeing I'm an 18 year old millionaire, I am this, I have that, look at my car, look at my house, I am all these big fancy things.

Most of them are lying to you, like most of them are lying to you to try and make you buy their course or buy what they're selling and use your insecurity against you.

So make sure that you find things in your life that you enjoy.

Find hobbies, you enjoy, go outside, make some friends, create a life that you want to wake up to instead of just comparing your life to what someone says on social media.

Now to the parents, I would say firstly make sure that you're also taking care of your own mental health.

Because although I don't have children, I can observe the fact that with my mom and with other parents, I know they want to do the best they can to help their children, but you also have to help yourself so that you are mentally there to help your children.

So I don't know if maybe that is you go when your kids are at school, you go on a walk.

Lawrence Harris: 00:07:06

At the park, I don't know if that is you're going to hang out with your friends, but find something you enjoy to manage your.

Herb: 00:07:18

So just for a second, we just started losing your volume again.

Lawrence Harris: 00:07:21

Okay.

Yeah, one of my headphones and died.

Kristina: 00:07:23

It's back.

We're good.

Awesome.

Yeah.

And that's such an important message, right?

Because we always think about the parents.

I have to take care of my child, I have to do this, I have to do that.

But if you don't start with yourself, if you don't have yourself in a good space, it really is hard to help cushion and help guide and help your child whenever they're having difficulties.

And, and so many people say, oh, you know, just go take a bubble bath, take five minutes to yourself.

But it's deeper than that.

Can you talk about that a little bit?

Because you also went through it.

What did you do?

How did you have to go a little bit deeper to make sure you were taking care of you?

Lawrence Harris: 00:07:58

So what I do is I have like deliberate practices I do every single day where I will journal in the morning, I will do it in the afternoon, I will do it at Night to get my thoughts out and better understand myself, my feelings, my reactions, and how I respond to things.

And it's when I'm speaking at schools or mental health groups or anywhere.

No matter if you are 15 or you're 55, journaling, writing out your thoughts, writing out how you feel, it will help tremendously.

Going on a walk outside when you are, you know, boxed in all day at your house, in your car, at your job, at the grocery store, you're physically boxed in.

You're not getting any sunlight, you're not getting any fresh air.

Go take a walk outside for just 5, 10 minutes.

It will help a lot.

And find things that you specifically resonate with.

So some people, their way of taking care of themselves could be their religion, like they go to church or pray or meditate or something.

Whereas other people, it might be a hobby, such as you really enjoy cooking or fixing cars or for me, fishing.

I'm actually about to go later today.

I got my fishing rods right behind me.

Kristina: 00:09:23

That is, yeah, that is great.

Because for me, I know that I like music and I like dancing.

So sometimes just turning on the radio or turning on the music and dancing around the house can lift my spirit.

Spirit and put me in a better space so that I can help other.

Herb: 00:09:36

People go into the gym.

Working that energy out, exercising.

Yeah, all of those help.

It's one of the.

So many of our experts that come on our show.

One of the top.

The thoughts or the overarching themes is like the airplane thing is like, if you put your mask on before you help the person next to you.

So so many parents, like, they ignore what's going on with them and, and try and fix, fix their kids.

And it's like, oh, my kid is doing this.

Not realizing that the kids are just mirroring the adults.

Lawrence Harris: 00:10:09

Yeah.

Herb: 00:10:10

And how, how do you start reaching some of these parents?

Because again, they're, they're, they're taught this.

It's like, no, it's a problem with my kid.

I don't need to do anything.

How, how do you start break, break, break, reaching that gap.

And that's not.

That sounds so rough.

How do you start getting through those gaps so that the parents can understand without in a way that helps them instead of brings up walls.

Lawrence Harris: 00:10:39

Yeah.

Because with parents, especially, like I said, since I don't have kids, one thing that I know parents might be thinking is what make this guy qualified to talk about things that can help parents for a little bit of context, for people who don't know, when I was 12, I had to take care of all of my younger siblings because we got kicked out of my dad's house.

It was a whole mess.

So I never had to raise children, but I somewhat did.

And when you're a parent or you're a caregiver, so think you're the grandmother, you're the uncle, you're the person taking care of these kids, you're setting the example.

So if the child is, let's say they are arguing with their teacher, it's not about pointing the finger at yourself.

It's not to blame, it's not to judge or criticize.

It is just to say that what example am I showing?

Did they learn that from me?

Did they learn that from the people that I'm bringing around the house?

Did they learn that from something that I may have done?

And it requires you to be honest with yourself, not just with the child behavior, but also with how are you?

How are your emotions coming out?

Because maybe that kid isn't acting up.

Maybe you just think they are.

So you have to be honest with yourself.

That's the step.

That's the first step.

Kristina: 00:12:14

Yeah, that awareness, that honesty, like you said, is just absolutely huge.

And one of the things that we like to talk about lots of times is that behavior isn't necessarily bad behavior.

It's actually a communication.

It's something like, I don't understand something or I need help with something.

So they act up.

They have that behavior to try to get you to realize that there's something underneath that is kind of stuck or not working well.

Lawrence Harris: 00:12:42

Yeah, because especially a lot of young people, when you start thinking about a 13 year old, a 10 year old, a 5 year old especially, they don't have the language to describe what's going on.

They don't have the communication and articulation skills to explain to you that underneath them acting out in class is feelings of insecurity.

Maybe there's a mental health issue, maybe there is issues going on at home.

But they don't know how to explain this.

So they misbehave in class as a way to try and get the teacher to figure out what's really going on.

So it's.

Kristina: 00:13:34

And that happens with bullying a lot.

Lawrence Harris: 00:13:36

Right.

Kristina: 00:13:37

There's somebody in the classroom that they aren't getting along with or that are picking on them.

They'll end up kind of acting out.

To try to draw that attention is like, there's something going on, I need some help and I can't get attention another way.

Lawrence Harris: 00:13:49

Yeah.

And a lot of children are Kind of taught to do that as a way of.

Because they feel bad about themselves, they try to make other people feel bad about themselves.

And it's, you know, as I'm sure we're all aware, bullying contribute to a lot of the mental health crisis among young people.

It contributes to a lot of, you know, risky behaviors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and many more things that parents should be aware of.

Herb: 00:14:24

Yeah, hurt.

Hurt people.

Hurt people is.

And so many people who were bullied kind of end up becoming bullies because in the darkness of that, all of the revenge stories and the revenge things go through their mind is like, oh, if I could just stand up to my bully, if I could just be better.

And then when they do sometimes get some strength, then they become that almost as like a protective mechanism.

Oh, forgot where I was going with that.

So me, I. I ended up like, checking out and going into reading and being alone most of the times.

It's like my parents tried to help, but what they would say is, it's going to be okay, it's going to be better later.

And so there was no sense of.

Of safety there.

And even sometimes when I reached out to the teachers, I went to a real small school.

Sometimes the teachers would even be bullying me, which was.

Which took away so much of my.

Of my ability to be.

To be safe away that I just had to shut down and lock everybody out.

How would you talk to somebody like that that doesn't feel that there is anybody that's going to listen, that is, there is somebody to reach out to those quiet kids that instead of acting out, they just disappear.

And because those are the hardest ones to see.

I know, because nobody.

I'm still dealing with that 56 years later.

I work with coaches now, and yesterday I sat through a session and went deep inside and did a lot of work and it sucked.

Yeah, it sucks to have to go back and deal with.

With that.

How.

How do you reach.

How do you start reaching those people?

Lawrence Harris: 00:16:14

I will say to those young people that first off, if the person is like, being a threat to your safety, such as they are making threats against your life or they are planning on, you know, viciously harming you in some way, that's when you document that and you let a police officer know about that.

You know, if someone is making an active threat against your life, that's when you let a school police officer, someone like that know, like, hey, here is what this person said they're trying to do.

Now, if that's not the case, but it's something more like someone is making fun of you or whatnot.

If possible, find some other friends.

Find some people that you relate to, such as, when I was getting bullied, I became friends with the other kids who was getting bullied.

You know, we had that thing in common.

And there's sort of a sense of safety in numbers with that.

But also find ways of dealing with your emotions in a healthy way so that it's not just building up and building up and getting to a point where you start thinking about doing something to other people or doing something to yourself.

So deal with it in a healthy way with your emotions.

And also try to make some friends who do care and appreciate you and hang out with them.

Kristina: 00:17:44

Yeah, finding that circle of friends is super, super important.

I remember at the elementary school I used to teach at, we actually end up putting like a bench out in the playground.

And that bench was known as the find a friend bench.

Right.

If someone was sitting there with somebody saying, hey, I don't have anybody to play with today, and I would love to do that, or somebody else would go and sit there and like, wait for a friend to come to, you know, offer to play and things like that.

So those kinds of things that, when we talk about those things in our schools, when we share that with other with the kids and give that example that they have ways of finding those friends, that's often really helpful as well.

Lawrence Harris: 00:18:23

That is, that idea of a bench is actually amazing because little children don't always know how to make friends.

Like, right.

When you get older, you typically have the social skill of saying, like, hey, I like your shoes.

Where'd you get them?

My name's Lawrence.

As you get older, you learn how to do that.

But at five years old, you're not really sure how to.

I mean, some kids are, but I wasn't, I wasn't really sure how to socialize with people.

Kind of just there waiting for them to say something to me.

Herb: 00:19:01

So you're having a type is very introverted.

I still have problems with, with that at times.

So, yeah, it's.

Even for adults sometimes it's hard to reach out and find new friends.

I usually only have like one or two friends for years and years, and it's really difficult for.

To bring more people into that.

Lawrence Harris: 00:19:21

So, yeah, even I like, for as.

As extroverted as people think I am, because I'm a public speaker, I'm acting very introverted.

I love my alone time.

So you kind of sometimes have to force yourself out there, like to just.

I don't know, say, hey, nice car, where'd you get it?

Or how long have you been working at this job?

Or what college did you go to?

Like you have sometimes have to find the most random thing to say to start the conversation.

Kristina: 00:20:04

Absolutely.

Herb: 00:20:05

So what kind of advice do you have for kids to be doing that?

Because some of us introverted kids, that's a very dangerous thing too to reach out.

Because we're so used to being put back down that reaching out becomes as much of a problem.

Kristina: 00:20:24

So yeah, when you're speaking of schools and things, how do you.

What, what?

Give us a little bit more advice for the kiddos.

Lawrence Harris: 00:20:32

So you're a kid trying to make friends, you're really introverted.

Figure out if your school has like a club related thing.

Lawrence Harris: 00:20:42

Let me get my other headphone.

Okay.

The audio should be back to normal.

Now I would say figure out if you have a school club related to something that you're interested in.

So think of like the kids who go to the Pokemon club or the kids who go to arts, the art club, or really anything related to what you're already into.

Then after that, I mean, if, if someone had like a really nice outfit on or you like their hair or you find something to comment on, say something about that because.

And it's easier to do when you're in a shared environment like high school or college or work somewhere where you're like around these people.

It could be a little bit more difficult when it is a complete stranger.

Kristina: 00:21:44

Absolutely.

One of the things that we kind of talked about in the pre chat and the pre show was that, you know, we wanted a really strong message for parents on how to kind of like talk with their teens because things are changing so fast and sometimes, you know, with an older parent that lived through kind of one cycle of life and now we have kids coming up with different things available to them, sometimes it's hard to connect and relate.

So we wanted to talk a little bit about that.

How can parents like connect with their children and understand what they're learning compared to what the parent learned, Those kinds of things give us a little bit around that.

Lawrence Harris: 00:22:21

That can be a little bit difficult given that, you know, parents are.

If you're a parent and you're like 50 and your kid is 15, the world, it's completely different.

It's a black and white difference in the world.

So for a parent like that, what I would say is first ask your kid, like, what do they enjoy doing?

Start with like, let's start with the basics.

So hey, you Know what do you like to do for fun?

Oh, I like to play these certain video games.

I like to watch these certain movies.

And you don't have to become an expert in what your kid likes.

You don't have to become like super fascinated with it.

You just need to know the bare minimum about it.

Or when they tell you about it, ask them, okay, can you explain that some more?

And just let them talk, let them tell you about their thing and maybe you two will find something in common.

Like, oh, you know, when I was your age, I liked playing with GI Joe action figures.

Where now you guys are doing it on the video game system so you guys can like find things in common to talk about.

Herb: 00:23:28

Now I think it's so funny that you mentioned 50 years because that puts you squarely into the middle of Gen X.

And Gen X was raised differently pre Internet, pre having everything online.

It's like we, we left the house at dawn, we came back at dark, and you played with anybody you could find.

So that kind of stuff nowadays, it's like our kids have no concept of being able to do that.

Like letting your kids out and just go outside and come back at dark.

It's like no parent in their right mind is going to do that right now because like, oh, there's this scary thing and there's that scary thing.

So I can totally see why a Gen x in their 50s working with teenagers nowadays.

It's like, because it's like, oh, you hurt yourself, rub some dirt in it, go play.

That's how we were raised.

It's like that, that doesn't fly nowadays.

So how do we start breaking or not breaking?

How do we start closing that gap?

Because it's like such difference, like way different.

Lawrence Harris: 00:24:37

Well, it's going to take people being open to.

It's going to take the work of both the young person and the adult to be open to each other.

Because now the.

I'll just use relationships as a great example.

It's the, it's one of the best examples to use for this.

So nowadays most relationships start on like an app or you DM somebody on Instagram or something like that.

It's very rare that people are dating people that they met face to face.

I know how and I know how to someone who didn't grow up in that.

How crazy that sounds.

Herb: 00:25:18

Like we've been together for 37 years.

That, that is ridiculous.

Lawrence Harris: 00:25:24

So like, to you guys it sounds crazy that, like, wait, you're telling me that you don't just like walk up to somebody at the bus stop and strike up a conversation.

Nope, people don't do that anymore.

And to the young person, it sounds crazy to hear, like, wait, you guys never had dating apps?

Like, that was never a thing.

No, we had.

Herb: 00:25:52

They were a joke when they first came out.

We remember.

We remember when the dating apps first came out.

I could probably even name, like, the first two or three of them.

Kristina: 00:26:00

Them.

Herb: 00:26:00

Because it's like, who's gonna.

Who's gonna meet online?

What a ridiculous idea.

So that completely.

Lawrence Harris: 00:26:08

Yeah.

So the world is just completely different.

So it's gonna take young people being open to, like, having a conversation about their life as well as older people being open to learning back and forth.

Now, the way that we can make that divide easier is, like I said earlier, starting with the basics.

What did you do when you were 15?

Oh, well, I used to play with action figures.

I used to watch Terminator.

I used to watch Jurassic Park.

What do you do?

Well, now I like to play the sports video game or watch Captain America.

Like, you find commonalities, and you're able to learn from one another.

Kristina: 00:27:00

Yeah.

And that is so, so important because even though they're two different things, like you said, you can find the commonalities.

You can see how they were similar or why you liked each of those things in the generation in the space that you are in.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And you know what?

It really is about curiosity.

It's like, where are you coming from?

What are you thinking about?

What is interesting to you?

And then really, you know, adults take that plunge and try something hard for you.

Right.

You might think, oh, there's no way I can play video games.

All the little buttons and remember this, remember that.

But when you sit down and do it with your kiddos, it's amazing how fast you can learn and maybe laugh together because you're making silly mistakes.

But it's that bonding that happens when that happens.

And young people, same thing.

You know, mom and dad might want to watch an old movie and enjoy it with them and think about the differences of what is happening in that movie that they enjoy compared to movies that you enjoy now.

Do those bonding things.

Absolutely.

Lawrence Harris: 00:28:02

Yeah.

Like, I can even look back on experiences.

I had my grandpa, where he was born in, like, the 40s.

So you're talking about a truly different society.

You're talking about.

He grew up in a society where the laws were different, culture was different, politics was different, everything was different.

And we would have these conversations about, like, what was your life like before refrigerators?

Like, before refrigerator were a Thing.

What was it like?

And he would tell me, like, oh yeah, we used to have this truck that would come down the street with a giant block of ice and it would put it inside of a metal box and like.

Wait, you guys used to get milk delivered to your door?

Lawrence Harris: 00:28:54

Yep.

Lawrence Harris: 00:28:55

You, you didn't have like a local shop?

Like, you didn't have Walmart, you didn't have Target.

You didn't have like Amazon.

Herb: 00:29:06

Yeah.

They didn't have cars that would reliable travel more than 20 miles.

So people lived within 10 miles and walked everywhere.

My mom used to talk about how they would.

She liked it on, on frosty mornings because the cream would freeze and pop the top of the milk off and then they could like eat the, the, the cream off the top of the milk bottles.

So yeah, and those ideas, it's like crazy now.

Crazy now that that food would be.

Well, but the idea of like Uber and having food delivered to your house pre cooked and, and ready to go unbelievably strange for, for some of the.

So mom, my mom still has trouble with some of that.

Like people deliver cooked food to your house.

What?

Lawrence Harris: 00:29:51

Or even something as seemingly simple as if I wanted to get.

Okay.

If I wanted to get a computer.

Okay, my mic almost fell down.

If it should sound normal now, but if I wanted to get a computer shipped from China to my office in America, I can get it done in 48 hours.

Yeah.

And prior to Amazon, you had to wait a couple of months for that.

Kristina: 00:30:24

Yes.

But yeah, I'm gonna date myself here.

I remember when computers first came out, we had to pre order it and we had to wait months before that computer was delivered and we got to use it.

And of course there's nothing like the computers we have sitting in front of us right now.

Herb: 00:30:40

No.

hen the first, when the first: 8088

The original Atari.

The first video game.

My dad Bough original video game console.

And you played Pong and you knocked a little ball back and forth and that was like.

So yeah, we, we predate video games too.

And so we got to watch that grow up in the way that's moving now, the speed with which stuff is changing.

Even our kids today are living in a new world every five or ten years and that's speeding up so fast.

It's like how.

Yeah, so, so the, the personal relationships, the bullying, that stuff, it's like that's changing so much now as well.

And there should be so Many more ways to help people out of that.

And you know, it's coming about slowly.

People are starting to recognize more about that in the intelligence quotients.

But then people also kind of take it too far and, and shut down relationships because, because they don't understand what's going on.

So, man, I keep going back to questions that make sense to me and I, and it doesn't make sense to me.

So I'm not even sure what to ask now.

Kristina: 00:32:01

So when you, when you're speaking, right, when you go out and do the school assemblies and things like that, what are some of the main messages that you also talk about that we want to make sure that we're getting on this podcast?

Herb: 00:32:14

And what are some of the main things that kids are dealing with today about that, that they're asking you about?

Because I would, I don't have any idea.

Lawrence Harris: 00:32:22

Well, a lot of the main things are like mental health awareness because you have, not just as a bullying, but you have children who are growing up in abusive households.

You have children who are growing up and they're going on social media and all they're seeing is, you know, war, doom, gloom, everything falling apart.

The economy is terrible.

There are so many messages of like, man, if, if you don't have this car or you don't have this watch, women don't like you and she's going to take all your money and, and all these crazy things.

And women, if you don't look this way, men aren't going to like you and you're fat and you're ugly and buy this dress.

This is getting force fed to a lot of young people.

So it's causing insecurity, it's causing eating disorders, it's causing so many major problems that we have to address.

And that's one of the biggest things I love to speak on at schools.

Another thing I teach them on is how your thoughts affect the way you feel and how that affects your decisions.

So I show them how to pretty much change the beliefs that you have about yourself so that you go from someone who believed that I can never succeed to believing that I can.

And you start taking the actions that get you the life you want.

They'll be the main two, because this,.

Herb: 00:33:53

This is actually one of the most amazing times to be alive in our history.

But fear and that, that sense of lack is what sells.

So it's like right now we have the least amount of people globally in poverty ever.

It is currently safer to be alive.

We have, it's safe to have children the main cause of death in women used to be childbearing, and now that has dropped so radically that it's fallen off the top 10 of the list.

So the wealth creation across the globe right now is phenomenal.

So this really is the most prosperous and least dangerous time this world has ever seen.

But all the stuff in the news is all doom and gloom and it's all bad news.

So how can we get our children to step out of that fear mode and start looking for the benefits, for the things to be thankful for?

Because thankfulness is a great tool.

Gratitude and thankfulness to come to come out of depression.

Lawrence Harris: 00:35:01

So during COVID when I was like seeing riots and people are burning cars and just all these terrible things in the world, one thing I started doing was I started making a list of things to be grateful for.

For example, right now, although American health care is very expensive, the chances that you die from the flu are incredibly low.

Like the flu used to kill people left, and right now it doesn't.

Herb: 00:35:33

Yeah.

Between World War I and World War II, the Spanish flu killed over 6 million people.

Lawrence Harris: 00:35:38

Yeah.

Or the fact that we don't have war.

Like, yeah, America is fighting wars in different places, but living in America, the chances of you dying from war, if you don't become a soldier or borderline zero, it would take some extreme thing to happen for you to end up getting drafted.

Or another thing, if you have all ten fingers, be grateful for that.

If you're not blind, be grateful for that.

The fact that you have a roof over your head, food in your refrigerator, water, clean water thing that would make me go, oh, wait, my life's actually.

It's not perfect, but it's a lot better than the doom and gloom that the news says.

And on the note of, like, why?

Because that was something I would think about a lot.

Like, why is fear and all the bad things promoted so much more than the good things?

Like you said, it's because it sells.

Herb: 00:36:40

That was so obvious during the World cup here in, in the United States over this, this last year, there were so many people that came from all over the world thinking that they were going to be walking into, like a war zone in America and that we were rude and then they came here and they just had an amazing, wonderful time.

But that doesn't sell the news.

That doesn't keep the division that, that.

That sense of, of we're.

We're all in.

We're all in a.

In much better off than we really thought we were and that we have so much more in common than we don't.

Lawrence Harris: 00:37:13

That one thing I tell a lot of young people to do, like, on the note of, like, on the note of, like, why social media, it pushes so much negativity.

And obviously it's nothing against the apps.

It's against, like, the people who realize that this is what people gravitate to.

Is the book: 1984

Yep.

It.

I had to read that during high school and write an essay on it.

Herb: 00:37:42

We had to read that before: 1984

Lawrence Harris: 00:37:45

Yeah.

Like, I had to explain.

I wrote my essay on, pretty much, like, why do we live in such a good time in history?

Like, by every measure of the word, it is the best time to be alive.

Kristina: 00:38:00

Yeah.

Lawrence Harris: 00:38:01

Yet we hear so much negativity and.

And not even just the best time to be alive in general, but it is the best time to be alive no matter who you are.

So polio, you're not going to catch that.

Dying from, like, smallpox, not happening.

War doesn't happen in America.

Famine doesn't really happen now.

Yeah.

There's groups like in the Appalachian Mountains who deal with this, but that's the exception for the vast majority of people.

Living now, no matter where you really are, is one of the best times, especially in America.

Yeah.

Herb: 00:38:48

Like, we're like, the poorest state in America is, I believe, Missouri and Canada.

The.

The standard of living for all of Canada is lower than the standard of living in the state of Missouri, which is the poorest state in the United States.

So other countries, it's like, there's like, if you're here, you've won the lottery, even if you're at the bottom of it.

Lawrence Harris: 00:39:11

Yeah.

Like, I. I've dated a lot of the daughters of immigrants, and one thing that they would often tell me is about their lives, like, growing up in other countries.

And it made me realize how good I've got it.

For example, my ex girlfriend's dad came to America when he was 13, didn't know the language, opened up his own restaurant and was able to get all of his family visas so they could move over here.

And the reason why he came was to escape the Vietnam War.

So to him, running water is like heaven.

Yeah.

Like, to him, basic things like running water, wi fi food, a stove that works, a bathroom, not having to go outside and worry about, like, the Apocalypse.

Kristina: 00:40:05

Right.

Lawrence Harris: 00:40:06

Is an incredible thing to him.

So as much as I don't want it to be misinterpreted, because some people do have, like, you know, major problems like health issues and poverty, and they have parents who are Mistreating them.

But I believe that it really helps a lot to put all of your problems into context and you start to see that, okay, my feelings are valid, my problems are valid, my emotions matter.

However, I also have a lot of things to be grateful for.

And the things that I don't enjoy, most of them you have control over.

You're able to make more money somehow.

You're able to eventually move to a safer area.

Things like that.

Herb: 00:40:59

You can.

For 50 cents, you can get a library card and educate yourself.

Kristina: 00:41:03

Yeah.

You have an opportunity.

Lawrence Harris: 00:41:04

Actually, you can get a free library card.

They hand them out free.

Yeah.

Kristina: 00:41:08

So, oh, my gosh, Lawrence, this has been a great conversation.

I want the audience to know how they can get a hold of you if they want to hear more of what you're saying, if they want to engage you in speaking to a group or something.

How do parents and people get a hold of you?

Lawrence Harris: 00:41:23

Very easily.

All of my social medias are Lawrence C. Empowers, and my website is lawrence c.harris.com and you know, just one last thing I want to say before we end this is right now.

We live in a time where you can get the information.

So if, let's say you're a parent and your kid is really into dinosaurs, but you don't know anything about that, you can Google it.

You could find maybe a job that they could work related to that.

Like, hey, jobs in my city, hiring at the dinosaur museum.

And you can help your kid to find a job.

Or maybe your kid is struggling with making friends, so you might search up like in the dinosaur museum having a event for teens, and you take them there and they make some friends.

Or is the.

I don't know, for their birthday, you buy them a dinosaur bone.

Lawrence Harris: 00:42:29

That.

Lawrence Harris: 00:42:29

That could get expensive, but there's some cheap ones out there.

Herb: 00:42:32

If they're in the video games, take them to a comic con or a comic book convention or something like that.

Because there's going to be tons of people that feel like they're out of place.

And then they get there.

It's like, wow, there's more people like me.

And not being alone feels good.

Lawrence Harris: 00:42:49

Yeah.

Kristina: 00:42:50

Beautiful.

Lawrence, thank you so much for being here today.

Thank you for your messages, your inspiration, and keep doing the great work that you're doing because we need that connection between parent and teen.

Young adult.

Thank you so very much for being here today.

Herb: 00:43:03

Yes, thank you for being here.

So many people are bullied like me, and when I got out of it, I just tried to shut the door and move forward and and you fought that dragon and you are bringing that information back to the village into helping more people.

And that is the hero's journey.

You go out, you fight the dragon, you get the gold and you bring it back and you share it and that's what you're doing and that makes you a hero.

So many people aren't doing what you're doing.

Thank you for doing that.

Thank you for being out there and for helping our youth.

You are making a difference and it is very, very greatly appreciated.

Lawrence Harris: 00:43:41

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Kristina: 00:43:43

You are very welcome.

Audience, it is now your turn.

If you have heard some gold nuggets in this show, which I'm sure you have, make sure you take that gold out and spread it around.

Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell those other parents and teens.

This is a show that you might want to listen to and find out some things and find out by subscribing.

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Until next time, everybody.

Thank you so much and bye for now.