S3EP1-Mark Papadas-The Power of Words: Changing Children's Lives One 'I Am' at a Time!

Herb: 00:00:19

I now have the pleasure of introducing Mark Papadas. Mark is the founder of I Am for Kids and the Be Great movement.

Helping children, families and educators build confidence through the power of identity.

After working with thousands of students in schools across the country, Mark discovered that the words children repeatedly say about themselves become the foundation for the choices they make and the lives they build. His mission is to help every child replace limiting labels with empowering beliefs by teaching them the life changing power of the phrase.

I am a nationally recognized speaker, Featured in Time, HuffPost and on national television.

Mark equips parents and educators with practical tools to raise resilient, confident kids who knew who they are and what they are capable of becoming. Mark, it is a pleasure to have you here Today as a 56 year old man who is still learning the power of those words.

Had that been ingrained in me at an earlier time in a way that I recognized, it probably would have been much easier for me. So thank you for being here today. I'm really looking forward to this conversation.

Mark Papadas: 00:01:31

Thank you guys for having me. And I couldn't agree more with you. I can't tell you how many times people say, why didn't they teach me this stuff when I was a kid?

Kristina: 00:01:38

Yeah, exactly.

One of the things that struck me as we were having our pre chat before you came on the show is like, you know, we want to help our kids, but we often forget about that real internal dialogue that's going on in their heads and because they can't hear our internal dialogue so they can't learn from ours, so they have to be taught. And I love how this program is going there. So help us with the pivot point or the reason this passion came to you.

Where in your life, where in your career has this really become apparent that you wanted to do this and help families and kids?

Mark Papadas: 00:02:14

I almost have to say that, like I. It's not that I found it, it's that it found me.

And what I mean by that is like I've, I've, I've made a glutton for personal development my entire life.

I can't tell you the last time I read a novel, but I'm always, you know, reading, watching, listening to something that I can either use to improve myself or that I can then take through and pass through to the kids.

And there was, there was literally an epiphany evening where it's like I'd been teaching this stuff to my kids since literally since they were in the, in the womb. And I always was helping to assistant coach and all of their youth sports teams. This particular evening was after my son's youth football.

He was nine years old at the time. And a bunch of the coaches got together to have a couple beers. And one of my son's coaches came over and just started going off on this.

This positive rant about my kid. You know, it's the same. He was a natural leader. He was a great kid. His coach was just doing all this saying all these nice things about it.

But then I did something that we all do but never admit where I like, checked out of the conversation. And I started thinking, it's like, wouldn't it be great if every parent could have these types of conversations about their kids?

I was like, what could I do about that? And I realized he was still talking. I shook it out and I re engaged in the conversation.

But I know that that was the spark for what happened that night when I got in bed, I said, I got in bed. I'm in that stage of sleep, you know, before you hit rem, where you're kind of asleep but kind of awake.

And it literally just like, it's like, dummy, you know, this stuff. All you have to do is take what you've been teaching to adults for over a decade and put it into a format that would engage and entertain kids.

And as soon as that thought popped into my head, it was literally like in the movies, you know, where the, the beam of light comes shining through the window and the choirs in the back. Ah, right. It literally just started to download into my head of what it was all going to be like.

I mean, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm getting goosebumps going back to, literally to that night. And about 80% of what I am for kids is today came from what I call the divine download that night.

Kristina: 00:04:20

Isn't it amazing when something like that happens, right? You know where you're going and what needs to be done, and it's so clear that it really helps your purpose and your passion and your move forward.

Right. That motivation constantly. Yeah.

Herb: 00:04:34

That was kind of the draw for vibrant family education as well.

It's like so many people are forgetting and they're trying to do the education only aspect and they forget that children are human beings and we're not here to have jobs and to build stuff.

We're here to be human beings and have relationships and experiences and that, that disconnect there from, from being human and what then we do as a society. It's like that, that's where so many of these problems lie. And so, again, that's kind of how we started this and why you're on our show today.

Thank you again so much for being here.

Kristina: 00:05:16

So let's, let's jump into something very useful right now.

If you were talking to a parent and they're like, you know, my kiddo is kind of down the dumps, not quite sure, not confident, what would you tell them? What was something that they could try to do or help their. With their kids to bridge that gap?

Mark Papadas: 00:05:34

Well, the first thing I'd want to do is to get the parent to remember is that kids are born confident, okay? You know, the, the world is what teaches them not to be. I mean, think about it. When was the last time you saw a kid quit trying to walk? It just.

It doesn't happen, right? They fall down, they dust themselves off until they make it happen, okay?

So, you know, this is really the thing that most people have to remember is we're not necessarily trying to teach them how to be confident. We're trying to teach them how to unlearn what they've done so they can just be what they are naturally.

And that's where the, that the whole thing about the. The I am statement becomes in is because the. It's generally speaking, the loudest voices in their orbit.

If somebody hasn't decided for themselves what their I am statement is, I don't care whether you're a kid or whether you're an adult. Most adults are carrying around the IM statements that they formed when they were kids. They're still carrying those scars around with them.

So I would say to just try to, you know, have that parent to pull back some of the things, right? Some of the, the. The things that we say when we're just trying to be protective, right? You know, it's like, hey, be careful, right? Watch out.

Don't do that. You might hurt yourself. What they're hearing oftentimes is, well, I'm not capable. Like, you know, I can't do this, so why, why even bother?

Herb: 00:06:58

So one of the. I've been doing a lot of the inner work lately, and I've been having quite a few epiphanies, like revelations.

It's like something that I've been doing for 30 or 40 years. Suddenly somebody says something or there's a little trigger and, and something I've been doing again, 30 or 40 years.

Suddenly it makes sense and it shifts and it changes something deeply. And how. How do we get our kids to understand this and grow with it so that, that Again, that these things don't have to take 40 years before we.

Kristina: 00:07:40

Understand, understand and uncover it.

Herb: 00:07:43

Because it's like, you know, there's, that the, the, the kids are, are more open and more available, but then they also don't necessarily have the wisdom to take this deeper.

So how, how do we, how do we make this a lifelong thing for them and that they stick with it and, and don't just give it up because it seems so simple and not what reality is based on?

Mark Papadas: 00:08:10

Well, I think where you're going with that is that a lot of times what most people think about it is they've got it backwards.

I guess is what I'm trying to say is that there are certain behaviors that people do and we all know that life is really nothing more than a series of patterns that we just run continuously over and over throughout our lives. So that's part of why it's so important to have the identity piece be brought up and taught as early as possible.

So that, that is the pattern that becomes the dominant one and just keeps running throughout the rest of your life. Now your identity can change, certainly will from the time that you're five till the time that you're 55.

But the process, the five step process, that's still always going to be the same. And it's the identity that comes first and that is what determines whatever the, you know, the thoughts are.

And then that's what determines the actions that are taken. So it's not the behavior that determines, it's the other way around.

Herb: 00:09:08

So simple basic question, it seems simple. What do you mean when you say identity? What is the identity of a child? What is your identity? What are we talking about when we say that?

Mark Papadas: 00:09:20

So literally your identity is whatever you say after the words I am, it's literally just that simple. Now oftentimes kids, they'll, kids answer questions with one word, right? How was school today? Good. So that doesn't surprise us.

But when, what happens is when you, however you finish those thoughts. So like mine actually takes about two minutes to, to say out loud.

And I say it every single day and because I need to just keep, keep reinforcing it, reinforcing and it keeps getting better because as, as I do things that came about because of my identity that is allowing me to grow, to make it, I said even, even bigger, better, stronger so that I can go out and do bigger, better, stronger things.

So the key is to give that conscious thought because one of the quotes that have a quote that a lot of people like and that is that a child is like wet cement and that whatever tends to land upon them tends to stick and leave an impression. Absolutely. Yeah. So to continue that metaphor, our job is to get that wet cement to cure. Right.

To harden, so that when they get to the age where some of the tougher choices have to be made, then that those things, they don't stick, they don't make an impression, they just bounce off.

Kristina: 00:10:48

But they had that impression from before. Yeah, good metaphor. And that is one of the things that we talk about often with our families is that, you know, what are your family values?

What are the things that are most important to you, that you can help your children embody as you're moving through your life, through their activities, etc. Because those are the things that we really want them, hopefully, to live from later. Honesty, integrity, kindness.

All of those super, super important values. And if we can work with our kids and show them in our daily lives. Oh, you were being kind there. That's one of our values. I love that. That is.

That starts that dialogue, I think, in their head, oh, I'm a kind person because I did A, B or C. Is that kind of what you're talking about?

Mark Papadas: 00:11:33

100%.

And I'm glad you said it in that particular way, because what most parents do, and once again, they think they're doing the right thing, is that they praise the outcome and not what led to the outcome.

So instead of saying that, you know, hey, you did a great job on that test and say, hey, I noticed how you studied really hard for that test that you did great on.

Kristina: 00:11:56

Yes.

Mark Papadas: 00:11:56

You know, it's. It's. Once again, it's a distinction, but it's a huge difference.

Kristina: 00:12:00

Oh, yeah, yeah. Naming the action that created it instead of just the outcome. Yeah, exactly. So that kindness, you know, oh, I saw you being.

I saw you pick that up for your brother. That was kind. Thank you for doing that.

Mark Papadas: 00:12:11

Yeah, that was awesome to do that. Yeah, exactly.

Kristina: 00:12:14

Yeah, exactly. All right.

Herb: 00:12:15

And you're getting this information to the kids. How do we get it also to the parents so that they can continue to work with the kids? And how are you getting this to the kids?

How are you reaching them? Because kids both love this information and also can let it go so easy at the same time. How do we get this to stick in their cement?

Mark Papadas: 00:12:38

So in terms of how we get it to kids, there's a number of questions. Not question. A number of answers to that question with more coming.

So, like, right now we have our school program, which is designed for Large school districts, et cetera. We have a homeschool program. We also have what is our family pack. And it's just different ways of teaching the same five step process.

And that same five steps is the same whether it's, it's me trying to teach the two of you or whether I'm teaching second and third graders how it's taught little different. Okay. So we're, we're getting it out to the world in any way that we possibly can.

The one that we're really excited and we know is what's going to actually help us to take this international is we're actually developing the world's first animated reality based TV show for kids.

And it's the real story of real kids who have gone through this program and the transformations that they've made, whether it's been an impact in just their family, sometime, you know, community, sometimes even beyond. And by being able to do that a, because it's animated, you know, we can have different characters for every, literally every region around the world.

With AI we can do the translation very, very quickly. And it's, it's something that, you know, right now we're in, you know, I can't really say, but we're, we're in discussions with, you know, the.

Probably the number one streaming entertainment company in the world. You can figure that out on your own if you want to Google it. Okay. So, you know, it's really, it's about the entire brand.

So I like to say that what we're going to do for kids, emotional intelligence and personal development. What the Muppets did for reading and for math.

Herb: 00:14:23

Wow. I, I hope so.

Kristina: 00:14:25

Yeah. That sounds amazing.

Herb: 00:14:26

That sounds amazing. Something. We've been trying to get more people out and again we try and reach the parents so that we can reach the kids.

But the, the putting cartoons out that they'll want to watch that also create the messages that they need to hear. That's, that's a great strategy. So you, you've talked about the, the five steps. Can, can we just get step one, how do we get started? How do we.

How is, how is our parents. How do we get started on this step? If, if. Because it's like people who've been in this world forever, it's just, they, that's no problem.

Kristina: 00:15:02

Professional development world.

Herb: 00:15:03

Yeah. But people who haven't been here before, how do they get started into this? What. How does this start to make sense for them?

Mark Papadas: 00:15:09

Well, I'll be happy to share all five. It's not like it's A proprietary thing, you know, I. I want to share it with the world. The problem is that most people can't do it on their own.

So that's why they have to come to us for the different types of programs that we've got. So the first step is very simple, and that's write it. So you're just given a blank sheet of paper that just says I am on the top of it.

Let's finish that thought. And it's funny because it doesn't matter. Kids are adults. Hands go up. It's, you know, what are you looking for? How do you know?

How should I answer that? There's no right or wrong answer. Just however you think you should. The only rule is that you have to be honest.

Kristina: 00:15:44

Okay?

Mark Papadas: 00:15:45

So super simple. And the scary thing was, so when I used to do this with adults, over 80% of the time, they would answer with their name and. Or their occupation.

Kristina: 00:15:55

Okay?

Mark Papadas: 00:15:56

But neither one really says, right, you know, who you are, the standards you hold yourself and others to any, you know, that kind of stuff. It's, you know, one's a label your parents gave you, and the other one is how you make a living.

Not everybody is as fortunate as us that we get to do something that we're passionate about. Right. So what was scary was when we did it in the first pilot classrooms, was that over half the time it came back.

Well, almost all the time it came back with one word answer, like we talked about before, because that's how kids answer questions, right? But over half the time, that one word was a negative traitor characteristic, with the three most popular being I am fat, I am stupid, or I am ugly.

Kristina: 00:16:31

Whoa. From little kids.

Mark Papadas: 00:16:33

From little kids. And that, that's what, you know, pardon my language, but scared. That bejesus. Like, okay, we knew there was a problem.

We didn't realize it was quite this big.

Kristina: 00:16:41

Okay?

Mark Papadas: 00:16:43

And so that's step number one. As long as they're honest, there's no right or wrong answer.

And they could even draw a picture, a poem again, however they want to express it themselves. So write it as number one. Number two is to revise and improve it.

So we tell them that they don't have to be whatever that thought is in their process. Okay? We don't tell.

We never ever tell them what to write, just what questions to ask themselves so they can come up with better, more empowering answers. Okay, so let's write it, revise and improve it. Step number three is to anchor it.

And that's a psychological process where you literally you know, the whole mind, body connection to where the, it literally becomes a chemical part of them, it becomes part of it eventually can become like part of their DNA. Not technically, but you know what I'm trying to say? Okay, exactly. So because by, by anchoring it, that's where it becomes real.

And that's why when it becomes the first thing that comes into their head. So it's write it, revise and improve it, anchor it. Number four is to share and synergize it.

Okay, it's one thing to think it for yourself, but if, if you don't put it out into the world, that's not going to be brought back to you. So that's the sharing it part.

The synergizing part of it is, especially as little kids, whether, again, whether you're kids or not, we all tend to gravitate to people who are like us. So who would you rather have your kid hanging around with?

Somebody who is going down a bad road or somebody who is going across a positive road and wanting to do things that help people. Etc. So write it, revise and improve it, anchor it, share and synergize it. And number five is the most important one and that's to live it.

Just be that person every single day. And the lifelong homework for step number five is you have to come up with a project.

That project has to embody the identity that you've just created for yourself. And it could be anything that they want it to be. They can benefit from it. The only, there's two rules. One is it has to be legal.

And the second one is that somebody else has to benefit other than just you. So you can, but somebody else has to as well. And these kids are, they're so creative. It'd be amazed at some of these projects that they come up with.

And the cool thing about it is is once they do one now they've got that feeling of completion. They're living that and they're, they're feeling better about themselves. They always do the next project and the next project.

And in case you haven't figured out, I am for kids is my I Am project.

Kristina: 00:19:22

Yep, exactly. Give, give us a story. Tell us about one of the kids you worked with, somebody that you've heard that has done the program.

Share one, share one of these stories with us about one of those kiddos.

Mark Papadas: 00:19:34

Well, the one that is going to be the pilot, the first episode for, for the TV show was a little fourth grade girl and her neighbor and best friend was a pediatric cancer survivor. Okay, bad. I Mean, he was almost. He was bald, you know, that kind of stuff. He didn't look like the other kids because it was so traumatic on him.

And there on the school bus on the way home, there was a couple of the bullies who were always making fun of him because, you know, like I said, he just. He kind of looked like a young old man. Right. You know, because his hair was, you know, thin and combed over.

He walked funny, had a hard time carrying his books, all that kind of stuff. And one day, so they were making fun of him and nobody did anything about it. And when they. When the kids got off the. The bus, the.

The heroine of the story and the. The other kid, you know, they were. Talked about it after school. The next day, the same thing happened again.

And that little girl, it's like, you know what? It's like, I know who I am, and I can't let this stand. And she stood up to the much bigger bullies.

And just the fact that she did that, other kids around started to, you know, like, you know. Yeah, us too. You know, they. They literally stood up around them and that never happened again. And you, you. It's funny because we.

We heard that story not from the kids that were involved, but from some of the parents who heard it from other kids who were on the bus.

Kristina: 00:21:07

Nice. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And think. Yeah. Think about it.

What the impact that had not only for her standing up for what she really felt about, but then to see others stand with her and to protect that other child. Yeah. Those are amazing. Yeah. You can hear. Hear it in my voice.

Herb: 00:21:24

Yeah. As kids who were bullied when we were both kids, who doesn't really. Even bullies get bullied, which is sometimes how they become bu.

So it's like, who doesn't want a story of. Yeah. Someone stood up for me in that situation as well. What a. What a beautiful story.

Mark Papadas: 00:21:42

Yeah.

Kristina: 00:21:43

I want to go a little bit deeper on the I am statements for a minute because, you know, all of us who've been in professional development world, we're like, yeah, you know, do your affirmation statements, etc. Etc.

But whenever you say something that's not necessarily true, that you haven't, like, accomplished yet, sometimes it actually almost reverses on you. It makes you feel bad because I'm. I'm not really that even though I'm saying it.

Talk about that a little bit and help us understand how, you know, as they're creating their IMs, how do we get past that disconnect before it's True.

Herb: 00:22:16

Because that sounds like it's step two.

Kristina: 00:22:19

Yeah.

Herb: 00:22:19

And how. Yeah, how do we. How do we work step two into that? Make.

Mark Papadas: 00:22:26

Glad you mentioned, specifically mentioned the word affirmations. Because a lot of times people say, you know, that, oh, that's what this is. It's all about.

It's like no primary language, but affirmations alone are bs.

Kristina: 00:22:37

Yeah.

Mark Papadas: 00:22:38

Just because you say something positive doesn't make it true. You have to go out and do something about it. So the. When we talk about our language.

So when you're saying, when you come up in creating your I am statement is the language has to be present tense. But it can have the caveat. Okay. That it could be more that. For example, one of the.

The lines that usually gets a laugh when I read, I say mine out loud is that I am a billionaire whose accounts have yet to be fully funded. Okay. So. So when. When it comes to the kids, it's.

They could be saying like that, that I am an astronaut who is learning all the things I need to learn to become.

Kristina: 00:23:18

Okay?

Mark Papadas: 00:23:18

So it's you. You have to take into. It has to be real, but you still are seeing yourself in that future tense and how are you going to get there?

And that's what is. That's what is now.

Kristina: 00:23:32

Okay, that totally, totally makes much more sense. Yeah. One of my favorite words that I use in my classroom when I was teaching was the word yet.

Because I would have the kids say things like, I can't do that. And I would say yet. Right. I can't, you know, whatever it's like, yet. And I was trying to reframe that in their brain.

But I love how you're saying instead, I am a great test taker and I'm practicing to get there. I am a good athlete and I do the practice every day so I can become better. Those kinds of things. Yeah, yeah.

Herb: 00:24:04

And there are great coaching programs. I'm in one now. And we write future statements.

So we go out like six months and we pretend to write ourselves a letter for how the last six months went. It's like, I am so grateful and thankful that I managed to learn this, to be able to get this done. I went through this process.

So there's action statements. There are affirmations like, I became this through this. And so you write your future statement. So that's incredibly valid brain science.

And what the coaches, A lot of coaches are teaching now is to put that positive statement into the future and then how you're working to it and say that every day. And you have that down to two minutes. That's great. Mine's much, much longer.

And you know, there's like clearing statements and stuff that I do along with that because I'm 56 years old and I got a lot of stuff to unpile. Instead of a 12 year old who's learning this and can easily shovel some of the leaves off or become it.

Mark Papadas: 00:25:13

More, they don't have the baggage that adults bring with them. And it's funny because one of the things you'd mentioned about how do we get to the adults?

And that's why it's so key to understand that generally speaking, it's the parents words that wind up becoming the inner voice of the child. And it might not even those words might not be something they say to the child.

Like, I seriously doubt that in those pilot classrooms that half of the parents are saying, you're fat, you're stupid, you're ugly. I seriously doubt that was happening, right? But when I'm.

When a mom who, like, what kid doesn't think that their mother is the most beautiful person in the world, right? But if, if the mom's walking around, it's like, oh, I feel so ugly today, right? I'm so fat. Well, she's perfect, right? She's an angel.

If she's fat and she's ugly, what. What does that make me, right? Or kids aren't also aren't that good at picking up on satire or sarcasm.

So if they're making, it's like, you know, oh, you look. Somebody looks great today. But it's like, you know, oh, you look so ugly today.

Herb: 00:26:17

Right?

Mark Papadas: 00:26:17

You know, and they, the adults get it, but the kids are like, what?

Kristina: 00:26:22

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

That inner dialogue for our kiddos, it's one of the things we sometimes speak about as well, is like, you know, when you're having family issues, right?

You're having money problems, or you're having a fight between the parents, et cetera, and we don't address the kids, we don't tell them, you know, this has nothing to do with you. Mom and dad are working something out.

Or our family budget's a little bit tight, so we have to put off a B or C. They'll fill in that blank all by themselves. And lots of times they'll blame themselves, oh, I made mom and dad angry. That's why they're fighting, right? So if you don't share, you don't go in.

The nitty gritty's, right? But you share enough to let them know that, no, this is not you. You are awesome and amazing.

And we have some things to work out or we have some money issues to work out.

Yeah, it's super important because like you said, they're building their own story in their head or they're translating things differently than what we're saying. But they pick up on our emotions and our attitudes and everything so much the mirroring.

Herb: 00:27:25

And that's why modeling what you want your kids to do works so well most of the time.

Mark Papadas: 00:27:34

Yeah. They study us whether we want to admit it or not. You know, so like I said, if we're.

And especially what they're going to do is they're going to model us in times of stress or pressure. So however we handle that when those. When things get tough, that's what they're going to do when things get tough. Because it's always.

It's always easy to do when times are. Times are. You know, everything's fun, right? Yeah, it's.

When the going gets tough, how do you react is going to be how they're going to wind up reacting when they get older.

Herb: 00:28:02

And so the I am for kids is to help kids start to see that earlier, start to put these tools in their tool belt.

They might not understand them right away, but it's a seed that you planted in them that when they do get a little older in these things, then that will be in the background for them to pull out and they won't have to come at it like it's some foreign idea that they've never heard of before. Yeah.

Kristina: 00:28:30

Do you have music that goes along with any of your program or do you have music that's being developed for the show? Because I just know that music really connects with people. That was just something that popped into my head.

Mark Papadas: 00:28:42

We have plans for it. There's none in existence. Like, I. I have some that. That I use, most of which I couldn't play here.

You know, a lot of my Instagram, like when I'm working out and stuff like that has the little E symbol in there kind of stuff. But. But that's just because what. That's what gets me, you know, gets me hyped and get me going. But yes, we are.

We are working with a few different artists to come up with a variety of different. Of music in different genres.

Kristina: 00:29:12

Yeah. Beautiful.

Herb: 00:29:14

Now let's talk a little bit about your Be Great movement. How is that different and additive to the IM for kids? What is. What is the difference there?

Mark Papadas: 00:29:22

So I guess I say the I Am for kids is going to live Far beyond myself. It's going to, it's going to be around for, you know, for years and centuries to come. So I guess you could say is that I am for kids is the systems.

Right. It's what people actually use. The be great movement is.

So for example, anytime I leave an interaction with a kid, whether it be an assembly in front of a couple hundred kids or whether it's a. A coaching session with a, say, a kid and a mom, whenever I leave that I always say be great. It's the last thing that I say.

And their response with enthusiasm is I am. And it wait until, you know, it's one of the things that gets me going. When we're. We first off, we.

If I'm doing an assembly, I always start off with that and just hearing the, the roar of that coming back. Just, it's energy that just gets everything going. And then we kind of get going from there.

And so it's all about teaching them that even if there's one thing that I get people to, to say or to, to take from watching this whole thing, hopefully they'll get a little bit more than just this one.

Kristina: 00:30:32

Yeah.

Mark Papadas: 00:30:32

Is to use that with your kids. Every time they leave for school, you know, every time, you know, you leave for work, you tell them, hey, be great. And they have to say I am.

And it's not I am, it's I am. They have to really, you know, say it with enthusiasm. And you will notice, especially after a couple of weeks, that, that they will get more excited.

They'll be like, hey, it didn't say be great.

Herb: 00:30:54

Right.

Mark Papadas: 00:30:54

You know, they'll notice it. They're looking forward to it. And they, they. That one thing can actually have a noticeable impact on it.

Kristina: 00:31:02

Yeah. Because. Yeah. I mean, we're talking about that inner dialogue, right. What is our brain telling us?

If we're telling ourselves that we're not happy, that we're not great, that we can't do this. Right. But if we're actually saying that every single day be great.

Herb: 00:31:15

And the compound effect be kind. Yeah, the compound effect. If you. In one day, it probably won't make a difference.

If you're only going a mile and you're off by a degree, it won't make a difference. But if you're going all the way across the United States and you're off by agree instead of hitting New York, you're gonna.

Yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna. You're gonna. Might meet Mark in Florida. If you're off by a degree every Every time. So.

So also then that, that makes the positives additive and compound too. So if they keep saying I'm great, even if it only makes a 0.001 difference, like, like nothing negligible for that day.

If every day those numbers slowly start building up until they become significant. And that's. That's the key to. To the. The repetition and the continuing to do it. So thank you for that reminder.

Mark Papadas: 00:32:12

Truly my pleasure.

Kristina: 00:32:13

Perfect. One last thing about your parent program. You said that you're working on that.

What kinds of activities or what kinds of things are built into that parent program to help teach the parent how to teach this to the kiddos? Can you give us an example of something in there?

Mark Papadas: 00:32:28

Well, so there's a few different, you know, the, like, the home, the family pack is really where that is. And that's to a certain extent, I guess you could say we're using the kids as the conduit to get through the parent.

In other words, you go through this.

Herb: 00:32:42

That's what we say. We're using the kids education to actually coach the parents into having a better life. So we're using the kids to reach the parents 100%.

Mark Papadas: 00:32:52

And especially in. One of the things we talk about in the school program is how there's materials that go home to the parents.

Because I've yet to find a parent who doesn't want their kid to have a stronger I am statement, to be more empowered, to have more confidence, all the great things that come about it. Right? But if a kid comes back and says, like, oh, I learned this really cool thing today. Here's my I am statement. What's yours? Right.

If you don't have a response now, you know, basically you're full of BS because you're saying you want me to do this, but you know, you're not doing it right. You know, and once again, the parents, good or bad, they're the ones that are going to be modeled.

So if parents are like that, they're gonna go back to school next. They're like, yeah, that was, you know, I'm not going to follow that. Then my parents didn't think it was so cool, so. Right.

Kristina: 00:33:48

Yeah. Okay, got it. So, yeah, parent pack. Get in there, parents, do it with your kids. Be building your IMs as well as your kids and be that great model.

Herb: 00:33:56

Yeah, so what is your I am model? Because you, you said it could just be one or two, but it's like, I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a homeowner. I'm.

So there's a lot of I am things that go into my identity. How do you get that into 2min to make it impactful?

Mark Papadas: 00:34:18

Well, I, you know, when I was creating it, I was very thoughtful about it and very purposeful with the words that I choose. And like I said, it has grown and it changes.

And you know, for example, when, when, when I got divorced, unfortunately, a few years back, one of those sentences had to change. Okay. You know, so do you want me to, to say it?

Herb: 00:34:39

If you don't mind.

Mark Papadas: 00:34:40

I don't want to take up too much time.

Herb: 00:34:43

I didn't want to put you on the spot asking.

Kristina: 00:34:46

Yeah, go for it.

Mark Papadas: 00:34:47

Okay, so it's. I am a remarkable, thoughtful and passionate man with an abundance of gifts to offer anyone willing to accept them.

I am a messenger of happiness and success. I'm a man who brings excitement, curiosity and devotion to his romantic relationships.

I'm a committed father who loves his children and grandchildren with the intensity of a thousand suns and therefore must set the example for them. I am a team player who will gladly sacrifice my own glory for the betterment of the team.

I am a person with flaws and I'm committed to overcoming those flaws that I will have even more to give. I'm loved by those close to me and I'm full of love and gratitude for those people being in my life.

I am a billionaire whose accounts have yet to be fully funded. I am a world class athlete. I am an attractive person both physically and spiritually. I am driven to achieve my definition of success.

I am disciplined to maintain the regimen needed to achieve my goals. I am a genius capable of creating things that improve people's lives. I am a charismatic leader who attracts outstanding people. I am a believer.

I am a force for good. I am one who defies the odds. I am great. I am Mark Papatus.

Kristina: 00:36:18

Absolutely love it. Bravo.

Herb: 00:36:20

Amazing. Wonderful. Yes. Thank you. Thank you very much for sharing because.

Kristina: 00:36:25

Now people can listen to that. It's like, okay, I don't have to make it exactly the same, but I can model and I can start creating my own im. So thank you very, very much.

Herb: 00:36:33

And I can tell that after years of work that is very well crafted and it resides within you because you can say it so easily. So it's not something that you're basically having to memorize, it's something that you're embodying.

And so for all the people out there, yours is not going to sound that good right off the bat. Yours is not going to be that easy to say right off the bat. It might take you years before it comes out that smoothly, but. And it's worth the effort.

It is. The sooner you get on it, the sooner the. The. The rewards come because. Because that. That was important. Thank you for sharing that.

Mark Papadas: 00:37:14

That's my pleasure.

Kristina: 00:37:16

Mark, is there anything that we haven't talked about today that you had on your side pad over there? It's like, oh, I want to make sure I mentioned this, or I want to make sure we go down this path.

Is there anything we haven't reached that you wanted to get to today?

Mark Papadas: 00:37:28

No, I. I think we've covered a lot in terms of how we can really help with the kids. You know, if you wouldn't mind, a. A Shameless Plug is I. I do have my book that's coming out. Was it July 30th, I believe. Okay.

And it's called Kids First Always. And it's the. It's the fictional story of the creation of I Am for Kids.

It's a story of school principal and how he starts something in a school that really starts to grow and goes beyond that. And it's a story with really good characters. I'm really excited about it. So they could look on Amazon.com for kids first always.

And if you're like I said, I'm sure you're going to love it as much as I do and not just because I wrote it.

There's been a couple times when I've been rereading it, you know, for typos and all that kind of stuff, where I start to kind of well up a little bit, even though I know what's coming next kind of thing. So. So to me, that's. That shows that there's. There's something right with it kind of thing.

So that would be my Shameless Plugs if you could look up Kids First Always on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Love for you to pick up a copy.

Kristina: 00:38:37

Beautiful. And it is July of: 2026

It will be there in the bookshelves for you. And I absolutely understand what you're saying about rereading for proofing and things like that.

eginning of the month of July: 2026

And yeah, just reading and thinking, oh my gosh, these words are out there now for so many people to read and impact and hopefully improve so many lives. So Congratulations on your book that's coming out. And also just say it out loud.

What is the best contact information for you in case a parent or a school is ready to. Oh, I want more about I Am for Kids program. Say that as well. Even though it'll be down in the show notes also.

Mark Papadas: 00:39:22

So you can. The easiest way to get into contact with me is go to iamthenumber4kids.com just like it. It says, you know, behind me here.

So it's I am the number4kids.com. There is ways where you can actually get everything set up for the. The school program you can sign up for.

One of the things we do is every Sunday night we have what we call our Be Great Family reset. It's just everybody kind of. It's.

It's free, so you can just sign up and we do it for an hour where we're just kind of walking through about being intentional for the week. You know, what part of your identity did you work on this week, what are you planning on working on next week, etc. Etc.

And then obviously all of my social medias, you know, I'm on pretty much every platform that there is. If you message me there, I will eventually get to all of them, so.

Kristina: 00:40:07

Exactly. Awesome.

Thank you, Mark, so very much for being with us today, for sharing your insight, your wisdom and really giving us some grounding to help our kids have this emotional intelligence, change that dialogue in their head. Thank you for being on the show today.

Mark Papadas: 00:40:21

It was truly my pleasure. And be great, you guys.

Herb: 00:40:24

Oh, thank you.

Kristina: 00:40:24

Oh, I. I am.

Herb: 00:40:26

I also get to say my thank yous and my goodbyes. So thank you for being here again. So many people out there just talk about the problems and they don't do anything to fix it.

And knowing as a business owner, trying to fix these problems is a work of love because you don't get to fix the problems. You have to learn so many stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with what you actually want to do to be able to do what you want to do.

So I know how hard that is. I know what you're doing is important and impressive and thank you for doing it. That makes you a hero in my book because.

Because you're doing stuff that people can't do in a way to actually make the world a better place. This isn't about money. This is about the kids. This is about how to make the kids better and that makes the world better. So thank you for being here.

Thank you for sharing your message and thank you for, for being you and doing what you do.

Mark Papadas: 00:41:21

Thank you. Truly my pleasure.

Kristina: 00:41:23

All right, audience, we are going to wrap it up for today, but please make sure you do the thing that will help all of us the most, will help our families and our children be happy, healthy, and successful by sharing this show, by sharing these guests, by sharing people like Mark who are out there working really hard to help our kids understand how awesome and amazing they still are. Even when they start forgetting. Because life has life to them. Life is life to them. Yeah. You know, all those things.

Herb: 00:41:51

More people need to be getting this message. Our world is in a really stressful place right now, and people have forgot how to people. And so we. This is.

This is so much about bringing people back into their humanness, into their beingness, and about being nice to each other and about being great. And that's something that. That we need more of. So again, like, share, subscribe, share this with people.

If you're gonna share it, leave a comment with their at name. So that's how you share it with them.

And that increases engagement and gets this out to more people because more people need to hear about what Mark is doing.

Kristina: 00:42:29

All right, everybody. Thank you, Mark. And thank you, audience. And we will say goodbye for now.

Herb: 00:42:33

Bye for now.