S2EP80-Joanne Williams-Pawsitively Empowering: How Dogs Can Help Tackle Anxiety

Herb: 00:00:19

I now have the pleasure of introducing Joanne Williams. Joanne, LCSW is a therapist focusing on supporting individuals and families with anxiety reduction, PTSD and confidence recovery.

With her 30 years of experience, one of Joanne's specialties to enhance clients lives is guiding them step by step through the American with Disabilities act process to use their own dogs as psychiatric service dogs to fly with them, be in no pet housing with no fees or restrictions. Servicedogpro.com she is the author of Superdogs Helps Boys Fears, a book written to help families talk about emotions.

She is the host of a top 100 anxiety relief podcast, Anxiety Simplified and welcome Joanne, it's, it is a pleasure to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us today. It is a pleasure to have you here. I'm really looking forward to this conversation.

Joanne Williams: 00:01:19

Thank you so much. I appreciate it as well to talk to you and your listeners.

Kristina: 00:01:25

I am super excited because we are combining a bunch of things that are just so important to family pets, dogs, getting help when you need help, reducing anxiety, all these different things that keep cropping up in our lives and, and we're hoping that this show will give families just one or two more tools to put in the pocket and then take out and use so that everybody can feel a little bit better and just be serious about raising our happy, healthy and successful kids. So again Joanne, thank you so much for joining us. I want to start out with passion. Why this passion? Why this long career?

What is it about therapy and service dogs and things like that that really was your pivot point, got you started on all of this?

Joanne Williams: 00:02:08

Well, I think most of ours, I think probably most of your listeners, it started somewhere in childhood. There was something missing. I'm insane with mine.

I, I grew up in a chaotic, really neglectful home and but my brother had attention deficit with hyperactivity which he was out of control and my parents had no clue on any kind of emotional regulation. And I know you guys talk about that a lot too. Do you, do you know to get yourself back? It didn't and so he was just so abusive.

So it was constantly, I felt like now I know looking at it was like survival mode, like where is he? What is he going to do next? You know. So I was always looking around waiting for something else to happen.

So really that led me into counseling after marrying my first husband who was alcoholic narcissist because I was a people pleaser. So I was a conflict avoider. So of course I'm just going to do anything to keep everybody calm and happy right well, that didn't work out so well.

So I got into counseling, and that's really where I started understanding emotions, how to deal with them, and ways to really manage post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. That led to my career that I've been doing for 30 years.

Kristina: 00:03:27

When did the dogs start coming in? The dog training, the dogs, dog certification. What was that?

Joanne Williams: 00:03:32

That's interesting.

I know, because I did start out with children in trauma in a children's mental hospital, and then with a child advocacy center for children that are abused and in domestic violence home. So that was my first shot at like, looking at like, the traumatic effects that can happen. The kids don't even realize or families don't even know.

Oh, this is way off. Families are right. And then. So I felt that way.

And then when I was so about 13 years ago, I was flying on a plane and I was having a panic attack, and I had my little dog stuffed in one of the little carriers underneath the seat that you'd have to do if you fly with a pet.

And it was actually the kind flight attendant that came over to me and said, do you know that there's a law that if you have a letter from your therapist, you could actually have your little dog on your lap? And I see it all the time that it helps people to fly without anxiety. I'm like, what here? I've been a therapist, what, for 20, whatever years.

I never knew about this. This law.

So I did my research and I did find out there's actually three laws that then I started helping clients with anxiety with any kind of psychological disorders that could use any of these three laws, whether it is to fly, be in housing, no pet housing, or even in all public places under the Americans with Disabilities act law.

So now I feel like I want people to know about this and I want to share something that's been going on for 50 years, over 50 years that most people and most families don't know about how to take advantage of this.

I think a lot of people think, you know, oh, my kid has to be so bad or I have to be so help helpless or, you know, it has to be so bad or they think it's a scam. I don't believe that, you know, and so they don't do anything about it. And so that's really what I like to do.

Talk about ways to help families, children, even adults that have psychological diagnosis to use these three laws to their for as an invisible disability.

Herb: 00:05:52

Yeah, because the. The scam part, it's like I've Known people who, like, went and did that, and they didn't actually need that.

And so now we've gone places and they say not only do you have to have, like, that certificate, but you have to actually prove that this isn't just one of those, like, scammy kind that you really need the dog. So how. How so then now there's like, this stigma that I have because I would love to be able to travel with. With my dogs. Do I need to? No.

Joanne Williams: 00:06:24

You know, and it's interesting, that viewpoint. Where did that come from? And I see it as a stigma. Stigma that continues for mental illness.

We can see how somebody in a wheelchair or somebody blind that has a service dog, well, that's okay. But we can't quite go to somebody that may have a brain disorder or anxiety or ptsd. That can be. And I have a little dog. He's.

He's not even seven pounds that I use as my service dog. And people do give me the. Huh. You know, and do think those thoughts.

It's a judgment from the public that they do not understand about the laws and about what's required and what is possible to have a disability that's invisible. And that's why I call it individual invisible disability. We can't see it, but we don't respect it in the same way.

So to answer your question, maybe I'll kind of go down through the three laws, because they're. They're different and they have different purposes.

Herb: 00:07:44

I do kind of want to say that I recognize that because I. I hurt my head a lot, and I suffered a series of traumatic brain injuries, which is what it said on the scan that showed how much damage I've actually done to my head because my business fell apart. I ended up in bankruptcy, My emotional stability crashed. I lost my identity. I kind of exist in a liminal state now.

So my reality is not like most people's reality anymore. So I understand how much. I have a dog in my lap right now, sleeping at the end of the show.

She usually kind of pops up when we say goodbye, but it's like, do I need her? No, I don't need her. She irritates the crap out of me, but she also calms me down.

And when I get anxious, she's up in my face until I have to pay attention to her, lets him know that something's off. Now, it's not always comfortable. And she's not a service dog. She's not trained. And she's also a completely psycho little dog.

And so I understand the invisibility, because I seem very normal and when I talk, I seem very put together. That's what the doctor said. It's like, wow, you seem really put together for as much brain damage as you have. Dr. Actually said that to me.

It's like, crazy story. And so, yes, having that invisibility and people think, oh, he can do this. He doesn't need that. He should be able to do this.

And then when I can't, yes, there is a shame, There is a judgment. That's part of what happens with me because it's like I wanked my prefrontal cortex and my anterior cingulate is overactive.

So, I mean, you know what I'm talking about now. So it's like. It's like everything that. That calms me down is busted. And the thing that makes me worry is, like, overactive.

It was like, crazy stuff happens in my life. So, yeah, I still feel bad because of how I grew up. Generation X, you don't talk about your feelings. You disappear.

So I still don't talk with a therapist. I work with coaches to try and build my life, but damn if I'm going to talk to somebody. And that's a.

That is something that isn't necessarily healthy for me. And so. So there's like all sorts of questions in that. How do you help people like that?

And also, what are the three laws that you were about to explain? Like, all right, there's all sorts of practical ways now.

Joanne Williams: 00:10:07

Yeah, really can. And you know, and I'm going to take it even first before I go through more, the dry stuff.

But think about a sensitive child, one that does have anxiety, and they may want to protect you from your sadness of a situation or don't want you to worry. I don't want you to know that I don't. I feel this badly. Right. And they say, oh, I'm fine, but they're not going places, or I'm tired, or I'm.

And they're actually overwhelmed, or, I'll go next time, I'll go next time. But you notice that anxiety before they leave the house.

So these are the kinds of things, as parents, and if you were a child, we would hope your parents would notice. But what do they do? What can they do? And it leaves them feeling so helpless to be able to help you.

And so that's why I love to talk about this and the loss, the facts, what you actually can do as a parent of a child or maybe for somebody that, you know, we probably all know those people even Our family, they don't go to social gatherings or families. Or if they do, they stand there and then they leave as quick as they can. That's anxiety.

And so if they have their dog with them, I'm telling you, people tell me all the time, they break their icebreakers or. Yeah, I don't care. They, they look at my dog. They talk to them and not me. So there's so many ways to use this.

So let me start with the oldest law 58 years ago, started with the Fair Housing Law, the FHA. I think we've all heard of FHA for loans and things like that.

Well, it was started about discrimination so that you couldn't discriminate, discriminate against people who had disabilities for housing. And so this included. All of these have always included psychological, emotional disabilities. But again, we don't talk about those. Right.

Just like you said, we don't talk about those emotional things. But this allows people or children to live in housing that is called no pet housing.

Then there's no fees deposits, there's no restrictions for weight or breeds, because that's a big one all over the place. I hear that. But they said it has to be under 20 condos, under 25 pounds. Or the state law says you can't have an aggressive breed in housing.

Well, this law states you can if you meet the requirements. And then that's where they no longer considered pets. They're called emotional support animals and they provide a service.

And I think that's the, that's where this got really confusing because that's where. And I'm going to blame it on the airlines because they're the ones that say, oh, you can't bring a turkey on the airlines or a snake.

ou could until six years ago,: 2020

But you could bring our dogs or our cats if they met their requirements.

But then, so in the fair housing lot, you can have any kind of animal, but it has to help you with a daily functioning, not just your anxiety, but how that anxiety affects your life. Maybe you sleep better because you have your enema with me, maybe you interact with others, maybe you socialize more.

So it has to meet that requirement with a psychological symptom.

Herb: 00:13:48

So that's what makes me go outside every day.

Joanne Williams: 00:13:51

Yes, okay, I know. And what you've already stated, this is one of the requirements to be a psychiatric service. Doc, they do this to you.

You don't call them over to do something, they come to you and tell you I call it alert you. You said something else earlier, but I call it, they alert you that your anxiety or whatever is coming up.

So that goes to the third law, which is the Americans with Disabilities act law or most people know it as the ADA law that again that stigma really affects because if they knew that again housing fly with your dog in your then flying you can have them in your lap the entire time. They don't have to be in a carrier. You know, I mean that's life changing when you can have them right next to you applying pressure therapy.

But this is when for the ADA law that has been around, I think it's about 30, 35 years that that can make your life so much easier. Even if you do look fine on the outside, but you're fighting this on the inside. So nobody knows it.

And so what I do as the process to be able to certify people again under these three laws is but mainly people just understand as the ADA law, you know that about you can't just, you can't discriminate. But for the last 13 years out of my 30 as a therapist, I've been certified since that airplane ride that I found out about this.

And I, I think it's made the biggest impact on people with post traumatic stress disorder because avoidance of emotions, talking about it kind of like what you just said actually is one of the biggest reasons why people don't go to a therapist or talk about it or learn skills. I just see it's all skill building. What do I do when in situations.

But then for the ADA they can go into all public places, all public transportations.

So for a child that could be schools, that could be college dorms, it's stores, restaurants, public places, all kinds of places that your kid may be avoiding go. I don't want to go to college. I don't want to leave home. What if you could take your dog with you? That's a game changer.

So we're looking at this and the what I do to certify people, I do two individual video chat sessions. One is around their symptoms. I have to diagnose as a licensed therapist.

I can diagnose under our diagnostic manual that these symptoms are affecting their life. And then under the ADA law what they consider trained to do a task is that the dog recognizes, responds and reduces psychological symptoms.

So that's what I am certifying that the dog notices, like I said, when your anxiety is starting to get higher, intervenes whether they come up. Maybe they just lean against you, maybe they poke you, maybe they lick you.

But sometimes from ptsd, they're already off in space someplace, and it kind of draws them back into their body and alert them so they can start using their tools.

One of the tools I teach in every session is the fornate breathing, which is medically proven to reset out of that fear spiral, to get back into your body. So you can use some of your tools then to calm yourself. So that's the first session.

And then I always give some tools in that I don't want them to leave just because most people with PTSD blame themselves. They think it's their personality, that they have to control everything, or that's the way they are all the time.

No, this is something they're feeling really.

Herb: 00:17:50

Called out right now. I was walking around my front yard. I have an alignment technique I'm actually working on really a lot right now.

So I'm getting into those emotional spaces and I'm drawing this out. And so, yeah, I feel incredibly called out because there's this sense that I don't necessarily like myself because I'm hurt.

Joanne Williams: 00:18:13

Yeah, yeah. And because I'm not like everybody else, or there's some kind of shame involved that, again, that gets put on us from the outside.

And it's like, then we start internalizing it and saying these negative things to ourselves. And then I call it one of the symptoms and PTSD is self abuse.

Those people that go to the bar room and get drunk and just beat me up because I'm a piece of, you know, what, you know. So it's. There's so many symptoms in that that affects life. That doesn't have to be this way once you learn some skills.

But the second session I do is a training, because what do you do? What do you have to respond to? How do I do this? Because that's the piece that you truly.

The training most people think is you have to go pay thousands of dollars to have a dog trained to respond. But that's not necessarily true. If you understand the ADA law, what it entails, and that the training is truly.

They have to recognize, respond, and reduce your psychological symptoms. They have to be behaviorally trained. Our emotional support animals before this had to be behavior. They have to.

You have to be under your control and be able to, you know, be in public with other dogs and people. But it's not about the training, so to speak. It's about understanding how your dog relates to you, usually intuitively.

That's not trained and you can train them to respond just like a child with reinforcement when they do the right behavior.

Herb: 00:19:52

Same thing. I don't have the consistency to train myself. How am I going to have the consistency to train my dog?

Joanne Williams: 00:20:00

Maybe your wife helps you if you're. If, if Christina notices that. What's your dog's name?

Herb: 00:20:09

Velvet.

Joanne Williams: 00:20:10

Velvet. But if Velvet starts noticing that again, you're getting unregulated. Let's just call it right. And good girl, good girl. That's reinforcement.

That then she will continue to do that thing to get the reinforcement. Or my dog's little. So I used to even use little sunflower seeds and have them close by. Good boy. And I would give it to him. That's training.

And you can do that till they do it consistently, which, that's what the law requires, that they do this consistently without being asked. They respond and that reduces it. But in this training, what I do also. Did you want to ask something, Christina?

Kristina: 00:20:52

Oh, it's just that, you know, yes, she does that, but she can't be polite to other dogs. She barks all the time. So there's that second part of that training that really throws people off.

If the dog is basically obnoxious and not a good pet out in the space, how can they be a therapy dog if they can't behave as well? So that, that's, I guess, where a lot of people disconnect when they see the vest and the tags and the things like that.

Because the dog is going off barking and it's like, but how. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joanne Williams: 00:21:23

And I'm just gonna nicely correct you. They're not considered therapy dogs. Those are for ones that go into hospitals or senior centers.

They don't have to have any of this certification at all. But service dogs, they do have to be under your control. So that would be part of behavioral training that you're talking about.

That's maybe when you do go to petsmart and do the six week program that they do have to sit, stay calm when a dog comes, you have to be able to say whatever that command is enough and tell them what to do. And so that is part of this, but it's not part of the ADA law. What is considered trained to do a task. So there's two different pieces to this.

And you know, the other piece, every, I think every week as I do this training with clients, they'll say something. What if they bark? Dogs bark. Dogs are animals and they do bark some.

Herb: 00:22:25

Thank you.

Joanne Williams: 00:22:27

Yeah, they're. They're not little.

Herb: 00:22:29

She's a Dog, she's supposed to bark. Stop telling her to be quiet all the time.

Joanne Williams: 00:22:33

If they're doing it in response to protect you in that sense, or that they're noticing, you're starting to get anxious because people are coming closer to you, that actually may be a task. So it. It is a bit. That's where I go through this with clients, to understand. To differentiate some of this.

So you do understand that a dog can bark, but. But they then must come under your control. Okay, Velvet, that's enough. Thank you. Good girl.

You know, and then she reels back and she becomes more under your control. Yeah. So there is that piece that they do have to have behavioral training. They can't go biting dogs.

And, you know, sometimes, like when I go on the plane, I have what I call a little pulley backpack that he sits on top of it. I don't put him inside it, but he just kind of rides on top of it with his little paws and head up of the bag. But if I need to, I can zip it up.

And that's also like his little crate or his den. And he knows quiet time now. So, you know, you have to learn some technique not much different from what you do with your children in a store.

You prepare. You know what to do. You know what your reinforcers are in moments of crisis.

Herb: 00:23:50

Yeah. I have this little doggy carrier I can carry across my chest. I put her in my shirt. She's quiet, she's asleep.

I have this beautiful little warm thing keeping me comfortable.

Joanne Williams: 00:24:00

Yes. And how does that make you feel?

Herb: 00:24:06

Sometimes it irritates the heck out of me how needy she is because I say I'm her support animal. She's not my support dog. But other times, it's like a blessing.

And sometimes my last dog was supposed to be my last dog, and I didn't want another one. But a bunch of people were. Kept telling us, doctors were telling us that we should get one.

And the reason I don't want a dog is because of how attached I get to them, not because I don't like them. So. Yes.

Joanne Williams: 00:24:37

So you're saying she does not calm you, she does not comfort you or give you something.

Herb: 00:24:44

It's like I have her in my hand, about to squish her and break her neck, and it's like, oh, this isn't appropriate. I must be really upset. And then I calm down and I hold her, and it's like. So she puts herself in danger for me to get him to settle sometimes.

And so, yes, sometimes it's not Difficult to recognize that in the moment.

Joanne Williams: 00:25:05

You should hear that as your alert. Oh, I need to use my aligning technique as you go. I need to start breathing.

I need to get emotionally regulated because to me, this is very similar to an autistic child with their meltdowns or an adult with dementia. They're starting to get, you know, agitated and out of control. And usually you put a dog or have the dog being responding to that.

Usually petting has been shown to actually calm our nervous system.

So, you know, it may be you adjusting a little or using that more as your alert system to be able to start calming yourself, maybe with petting or breathing, so that. That would help regulate you.

Herb: 00:25:53

Yes, yes, yes. And she found the trigger somewhere up my nose. So that's kind of why it gets irritating, because she gets in my face and she licks my nose.

And that's how she's like, you need to pay. Definitely, you need to pay attention to me now.

Joanne Williams: 00:26:11

See, that's your alert signal. I think you're missing as an interpreting. As something else. If you interpreted that as, she's trying to tell me something.

Oh, what's my next thing I need to do? You know, it's within three to five seconds. We don't have long to get into our emotion next skill of emotional regulation before we can escalate.

That's when I say start doing the four and eight breathing. Four counting in your nose, breathing, counting backwards, eight out your mouth. Medically proven to send a calming chemical into your system.

Within that one minute, you can feel it, and it resets that agitation. But I think if you would look at it as alert. Oh, she's alerting me. Oh, what do I need to do?

Or maybe instead of expecting her to do it, you have to start using that as your signal that she's giving you to do your own work.

Kristina: 00:27:04

And I just want to point out here as a. As a concrete strategy, because a lot of our parents are listening for these things. What you were just talking about that breathing.

You don't need an alert animal to do it. You, as a. Please look at.

Joanne Williams: 00:27:18

Yes.

Kristina: 00:27:18

Your children. You see them start going off. Teach them that breathing. Teach them some kind of cue or signal. Let's calm down. Instead of going higher with this.

You know, use that breathing technique with your kids. Right. So, yes, this shows a lot of animals. But guess what, parents, you are your child support person, and you can be helping them.

Herb: 00:27:38

Yeah. We had Belle set up in Christina's classroom when she was teaching.

Kristina: 00:27:41

It was amazing.

Herb: 00:27:42

That would randomly go off three different sounds. And on the short bell they would do a short breath. On the medium bell they would take a different kind of a breath.

And on the long bell they would stand up and do a. Do a process. And so it's like in throughout the day. So yes, the psychosis three times a.

Joanne Williams: 00:28:00

Day is right morning, noon and night. Because that will lower the overall. I call it. Yeah, we're already up to. I'm going to kind of point to my mouth here.

You know, we might be here during the day, but something goes off, we go way over ahead into real disregulate. This can bring that regulation down, you know, closer to your neck or chest.

You're not going to go off quite so much because you are getting more regulated. Absolutely.

For parents this is one of those regulation which we know that emotional regulation is one of the keys to be able to keep things calm in your home because the parent is the one that sets that tone.

Herb: 00:28:39

So absolutely to do Breathing changed my life. Most people think they've been doing it their whole life. Oh, I've been breathing my whole life. I know what I'm doing.

Like you have no idea what you're doing. I've actually changed my breath pattern consistently and now if my breath gets out and I notice that I'm catching it.

So if I, if I ever heal the I realize that I'm holding my breath. So you breathe up and you go, that's not a good pattern for me. So I roll my breath. I've been doing it consistently for about 15 years.

At the top of my breath I start breathing. I said, and so I start breathing out before I finish breathing in and I start breathing in before that. You can feel it roll. Okay.

I do that intentionally. And now when I hear a catch it's like, okay, something's wrong, I'm not breathing correct tense or something.

And so there is so much you can get out of your breath and that I, that I paid so much attention to it that I changed my default breathing pattern.

Joanne Williams: 00:29:47

Oh, I can't agree more. And that's why yogis have used it for thousands of years. This isn't new. But you know what I have found too.

As you know, I really medically researched this 4 and 8 because it stimulates your vagus nerve, which is the longest nerve from your gut to your brain.

And then it sends this chemical to every major organ so it's sending the positive calming instead of the cortisol with the stress that you start probably are with that breath you were talking about. You're starting to send that adrenaline or whatever into your system. And within we are, we're resetting.

And one of the things I've really found is count as you breathing out your mouth, counting the eight backwards. It's like hypnosis, you know, counting 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2. It's like, you know, it's just like an automatic release.

And I'll tell you, I have had clients with post traumatic stress disorder that had IBS or irritable bowel syndrome for their entire life from anxiety situation. I can. I just remember him saying, I'm going to do this. And he did it three times a day. It took him six weeks. Weeks, though.

But his IBS went away and never came back. So there is some phenomenal testimonies of what. What we're calling just breathing.

Herb: 00:31:15

And if you want to get like the next level is the. Is the triangle breathing, the four, seven, eight.

So you breathe in for four, you hold your breath for seven, you breathe out for eight, and then you breathe in for four. And that anything where you. You breathe in for less than you breathe out or hold is calming.

If you need more energy, then you do a quick breath or you do a slow breath and then a quick breath out. That builds pressure. So there's so much that you can learn about do with this.

Joanne Williams: 00:31:44

There is.

Herb: 00:31:45

And, you know, and then. And then the way my brain works, the 4, 7, 8, I was like, okay, that's not good enough. I'm gonna. I'm gonna add the.

The Tesla stuff, and I'm gonna make it 3, 6, 9 instead of 4, 7, 8, and put in the magic frequency number blob. So I go crazy with this stuff. I have fun with it and play with it so well.

Joanne Williams: 00:32:06

And I found a lot of my clients with anxiety, that's too complicated. They need something simple.

And that's what the medical researchers that found this four in your nose and ate out your mouth or double whatever you do. In, out. That was the key. That synth is calming chemical in. So they were looking for what sends it in this acetylcholine to calm you.

So that's why I teach that one. Yeah, there's tons of different ones. And then. And. And that's. Yeah, that's what it seems like it came down to for them.

It's just like I can remember four in, eight out, double. What do I do? In, out. You know, and it seems like.

And I think for children as well, sometimes simpler can be the easiest and even used for learning counting, you know, let's just use this right now and practice.

Herb: 00:32:56

Yeah. Oh, you got to start simple. Yeah.

Joanne Williams: 00:32:58

Yeah.

Herb: 00:32:59

Because there's so many different breathing techniques and things that you can do specifically to affect different parts of your life. But the calming, the vagus nerve. Four, eight, super duper simple. Can't go wrong with that.

Joanne Williams: 00:33:12

No, I cannot. Okay.

Kristina: 00:33:15

We kind of got off on a tangent on breathing, but that's okay.

Joanne Williams: 00:33:18

We did.

Kristina: 00:33:18

It is so important. Right. Because, you know, whether it's.

Joanne Williams: 00:33:21

It is.

Kristina: 00:33:21

Whether it's a parent, it's a. Whatever you turn, tune into that breathing. It really, really helps.

Joanne Williams: 00:33:25

Helps.

Kristina: 00:33:26

But I want to bring us back around to, you know, we were talking about how to kind of get started maybe with searching out to see if you want a therapy dog. Not every dog. Support dog. Yeah. I also have your book. Does your book talk about that dog as being a support dog, or is it a little bit different?

Remind us of your book?

Joanne Williams: 00:33:46

It does. And I'll. And then I'll go back to the little process that I. About what to do. But I did write this book, and I'm going to show it.

I know this may be only on audio, but it's called Superdog Helps Boys Fear. And the color is a boy that's kind of sad and looking off. And it's. It's a little dark. It's kind of. He's feeling pretty dark.

And then he's got his little service dog whimsy with him. And that brightens his life because what he found was that he was withdrawing.

The kids were making fun of him, and I don't want to go out and play anymore. And so he was staying home more and more, and he had whimsy as a dog, and he could see that it made him happier.

But then his teacher at school noticed. Jay, you're really getting really sad. Why don't you talk to a counselor?

And when he talked to the counselor, the counselor said, well, you know, if this little dog really helps you to do more in life, he could be your service dog. So he goes out with his dog and finds then he could interact with others easier. He is happier. He's. He can do more with friends.

And eventually he didn't need the little dog, but he had him. And he thought the little dog had the magic inside the dog. And what he learned was he brought it out in him that he could have it, too.

And so it's really sweet. And then what I think I like the best about it, too, I put in here all about qualifying for a psychiatric service dog.

Or an emotional sort of support dog. But I also put in a worksheet about questions to ask as a parent. One is what makes sure what makes you worried.

Worksheet so you can ask the child is there something on your mind that you. That has been making you feel worried or nervous. So it opens up conversations about emotions.

There's also about anger which I think sometimes parents really fear. I don't know what to do with this and understanding it a little bit easier.

And I give tips for asking these kinds of questions because, because I think it's scary for, for parents sometimes I don't know what to do, you know, am I going to make it worse? You know but with, with I think anger and you know it's stay calm and non reactive that emotional regulation first.

So you're not reacting this creating a safe space space validating their feelings. Sometimes that's all it needs to be. Yeah, I see what's going on.

Your face is red, you know, you're getting tense and commenting on what the body language is sometimes takes it off. You are looking like this, you know and not getting into that kind of overpowering stance. But oh my goodness, I see this is really upsetting.

Do you think we could talk about the situation that started this? Did somebody say something or do you know? So it just, just brings out the conversations. So yeah, so that's why I wrote the book.

It's really for parents actually in a storytelling way to see how a dog may be able to help their child. I love it.

Kristina: 00:37:00

Perfect, perfect, perfect. Because you know we again we'd like to make sure that parents are walking away from this episode with something. Right.

So now we have a couple of different things. Some breathing and some changes on ideas around anxiety and the book. So thank you Joanne so much for sharing all of that.

You said you want to share one more thing about our. Just before.

Joanne Williams: 00:37:18

Yeah, yeah.

The second the process, the in the process to get it done because I do a training session because people do not know what you are required to answer in public or any place. And there's only two questions. But if they don't know a lot of people, I don't have to answer anything to anyone. I can. Well no, by law you do.

And so that's where I train them and coming out with the way that their dog actually does help them and we talk about those symptoms and that's the way you explain it. How they recognize, respond and reduce whatever your symptoms are. They do get a little ID card as well.

That just is verification and is helpful for going into stores and places, as well as how to fill out. There's an airline form you have to fill out at least two days before.

There's actually a CDC form if you want to bring the dog back in from a other country. And I always want to go through what happens if somebody tries to refuse you.

So I want them to be prepared because we know things can kind of get anxiety producing. Anybody asks you anything and they do the deer in the headlights. Oh my God, what did I supposed to say?

So we really practice that so they can feel confident to use their dog more and do more in their life. Which to me, that's what it's all about.

Kristina: 00:38:38

And I appreciate that because, I mean really because we have this whole scam mentality kind of thing and then the real ones and things like that. And so. So if you really can respond in a way that shares appropriately, it totally like takes away the pressure and the anxiety around it.

Herb: 00:38:54

Yeah. Because with me, we kind of talked about this a little bit. It's like the damage to my brain makes me incredibly conflict averse. I back away.

But I also get angry really easy. So this is a really, really bad combination to get angry really easy and not be able to handle conflict.

Joanne Williams: 00:39:16

Yeah, I agree. I had a lady this week that had an aneurysm in her brain and survived, but same exact thing.

And she starts stuttering and starts, you know, kind of shutting down because her brain is kind of on fire because she gets that anxious. And so we cut it down to the simplest form. My dog helps me with my anxiety. I mean, we just really simp.

Herb: 00:39:44

My dog keeps me from hurting you.

Joanne Williams: 00:39:46

Yes.

Herb: 00:39:47

Or.

Joanne Williams: 00:39:47

And you know what else? I put it on the back of the ID card that this is all you can ask. What is the task my dog is trained to do or is it required because of a disability?

So they can just show it. This is all you can ask me, you know, because yeah, there are really a lot of people that have these kind of dis.

And you look fine, that they look fine. And people do not realize that's because.

Herb: 00:40:09

I have my dog with me. Me, I'm very pleasant at the moment because I have my dog with me. My dog is my happy pill. Like that show it is taking my happy pill.

In a couple days I'm gonna come back and we're gonna talk again.

Joanne Williams: 00:40:25

So I don't doubt it. Well, they can find out more atservice dog pro.com there's actually a 30 second guide about qualification.

You know, they don't they can just see everything, answers questions. And you know, I'm also going to share. There's actually a book that I've written Also that answers 99 of the questions about this. Then I'll.

I can also send you a link to that. But yeah, that helps people get out of that mentality that this what it.

Somebody said it was a scam, you know, or somebody said, oh, you hear all this. Somebody said, you know, and get the facts, you know, the law. So again, you can build that confidence inside.

Kristina: 00:41:04

I appreciate that. I'm glad you just said that all out loud because that was going to be my next question. Right, of course.

Don't forget, audience, that everything is also down in the show notes and there is a gift in the show notes from Joanne as well to all of our listeners. So join. Follow those show notes, open up that app and look at it or go to the website and look at it because all her information is there.

So, Joanne, this has been such a wonderful conversation. Is there one last thing that we didn't get to that you really wanted to share before we wrap up?

Joanne Williams: 00:41:35

I would just like to share. You don't have to go to anxiety through anxiety alone in life. You know, there are ways to conquer this and you just build skills.

It's just like doing algebra. You had to go to, you know, fifth, sixth grade to get there. This is no different. Building some skills. In moments you'll know what to do.

That builds that confidence. So please just understand it like that therapy doesn't have to be dredging up old things. It can just be skill building.

Kristina: 00:42:03

Awesome. Thank you.

Herb: 00:42:04

And I would like to second that because when you're in it and you're in those anxiety things, that is the hardest time to reach out. So it is so easy to say, oh, I tell people to reach out. And when I'm in that darkness, I don't reach out because it's like, who am I?

I can handle this. I teach other people how to. So it's not easy for me to reach out and swallow that, that pill and reach out the first time.

And you will be amazed at how much help you can get, whether it's me, whether it's her. Start talking to a dog. Get, get it out that, you know, boys had dogs. I grew up. That's. It's like, I, I don't remember not having a dog.

So it's like, there's a reason.

Joanne Williams: 00:42:51

So, yeah, and that's why we do this. So, yeah, call us. That's why we do it.

Herb: 00:42:57

So I would like to thank you for being here today. Yeah, there are so many people who, who need this and are out there and just are afraid to reach out.

And hopefully some of them have heard you today because again, so many people, again, they don't know where to go. They don't know what to turn and. And if they're listening here, it's like we bring good, quality people here. So thank you for being here today.

Thank you for what you're doing. It is it. It's a pleasure to see you.

Joanne Williams: 00:43:24

Pleasure to be here. Thank you.

Kristina: 00:43:26

Okay, audience, we do have to wrap up our show for today, but please, please, please follow, like, subscribe, share all those things.

I bet you know another family who is sitting there going, oh, wow, their kiddos have these issues and what would be a miracle to give them, maybe a dog or a cat or something that can help reduce that anxiety and know how to take it around appropriately and properly so that everybody can get the help, help that they need. So please, please, please share, share like and re and respond.

And then don't forget, Visit us@vibrant familyeducation.com where you can find our events, our services, and of course, all the different wonderful guests that have been on our show. Until next time, bye for now.

Herb: 00:44:07

Bye for now.