S2EP40-Dr. Ali Lankenrani-Optimizing Your Child's Potential: Insights from the UN Consultant!

Herb: 00:00:19

Today I have the pleasure of introducing Dr. Ali Lankarani. He is a clinical neuroscientist, a family advocate, and a consultant to the United Nations.

As the creator of Role Model Maker International and founder of foundation for Optimal Beginnings nonprofit organization, he focuses on children's performance optimization. It is my pleasure to introduce Dr. Ali Lankarani and affectionately known as Dr. L, the parent whisperer. Dr. L, it is a pleasure to have you here.

Thank you very much for joining us today.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:00:54

Thank you, guys. I am super excited to be here and I appreciate the time you've given me.

Kristina: 00:00:59

Yeah, it's been a while we've known each other. We've been running in the same circles and talking to different families. I've been on your summit and things like that.

It's like, you know what, it is absolutely time that you get on our podcast and then later on our summit, which is coming up soon. So I am so glad that we finally made this time to get together, because you are a wealth of wisdom in so many different ways.

Like your bio said, you've been creating the role model makers, you've been helping create organizations. And you actually also talked to the un, which is all amazing. And so one of our very first questions we love is, why this passion?

What brought you into helping families in this way?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:01:38

Well, do you have 50 years? Because that's how long it took me to figure it out.

Kristina: 00:01:43

I get that.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:01:44

So I guess my background is from being a neurodiverse child and growing up in a very pressured, academic achievement oriented environment. But ultimately I became a clinical neuroscientist. I did private practice for 10 years helping families with children that have neurodiversity.

And at the end of it, I realized a lot of stuff that applied to them really applied to the rest of the families around the world as well.

And I found out that a lot of the systems and institutions that we have in place, and I'm not, you know, criticizing them, I'm simply saying that the institutions are wonderful, they need to be there. But at the same time, there is a whole bunch of people that fall outside of that bell curve that are not of a good fit for the system.

So the end result is that, you know, it's like Jack of all trades, master of none. What ends up happening is when you try to make the institution suit everybody, it doesn't serve anybody.

And when you make it super specific to some people, it leaves a whole bunch of people out. So there is no perfect solution to it.

And that's where the passion came about to Try to fill in the gap between those people who are not included and those people who are included, but it's still not a good fit for them.

Kristina: 00:03:04

Yeah, that is so absolutely true.

And we talk about it all the time, which is part of the reason we have this podcast called Bringing Education Home is because we want parents to know what are the options if things aren't working for you and your child, if they aren't being happy, healthy, and successful, then what can you do to make your family that way or help your children be that way? So, yeah, I mean, you know, as you know, we know our passions are aligned, and this is so absolutely amazing.

Herb: 00:03:29

Right? So, yeah, the same kind of background in education and helping families in realizing that the systems don't fit everybody.

And, and so the way we're doing it is we're helping people kind of get outside of the system, but if they can't, we help them work with inside of the system. So it's a. It's a very individualized.

And that's one of the things that, that parents are shocked by when they first have kids is how individual their parents are. Babies aren't. Don't come in with a blank slate. And parents think, oh, I'm gonna have a little mini me. I'm gonna make my child just like this.

And then the child has their own ideas and their own reasons for being here that have nothing whatsoever to do what the parents want sometimes.

Kristina: 00:04:16

So how do we help parents kind of do that? You know, figure out what their kids need or want? What have you found?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:04:24

And actually, he pointed out to something that is very, very important, because I'm giving this bird's eye view of how, you know, when I go to these organizations that are trying to define what the laws are and how to govern and how to include everybody, oftentimes they forget to the. The smaller details. So, for instance, I'll give you the perfect example.

I have kids that are right now starting middle school and high school, and I have been not a victim, but also a recipient of the approach in the past as well. And I hear from thousands of parents all the time about what their fears and anxieties and aspirations are for their kids.

And a lot of times we're talking about like, oh, it's going to be a mini me. Well, not necessarily. The world is a different place. That person is a different place. So the, The.

The answer is going to be very different than what we have in our minds as far as what we have envisioned.

Having said that, though, when you talk about Parents, when you talk about educational system, for instance, there's a lot of focus on narrowing down people's interests. Right. Like, you got to figure out what you want to do. You got to figure out what you want to do. Right. You got to specialize.

You got to figure out what your major is. And the whole focus is to give them everything they can so that they can go ahead and specialize. But ultimately, I use myself as a perfect example.

I'm a physician, but here I am consulting at UN or working with entrepreneurs. So the physician part is simply a tool. But ultimately, you need to know what you want to do with the tool.

So if you don't know what you want to create in the first place, doesn't matter how big your toolbox is or which tool you have and how good it is, like, you still don't know how to put it to use.

So this is the part that I really hope that if the education system is not addressing that, we as parents within the family can actually go ahead and address in bringing about what it ultimately means for the child to be happy, healthy, and hopeful. And that's basically what we're focused on.

Herb: 00:06:46

Yeah. So you said something there at the start that is one of these conflicts that.

That they're mutually kind of almost exclusive because we talk about how we need to set up our children to find their individuality, to. To find what they want. But then our systems are designed to. To almost take away the individuality, to create a homogenous, homogeneity society.

So all the kids kind of learn the same things. And so it's not until almost.

Until they get, towards the end of high school, sometimes into college, before they get to start breaking out into their individual. So how can we get that. That sense of individuality and. And promoting that. That important part of speciality? Because we're all. We're all special.

So how do we get to our speciality when the systems are trying to create a specific kind of a container that might not fit what we do?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:07:49

Right. That's a great question. I want to go back to the college that you just mentioned and people trying to specialize.

I don't know if anybody has looked at the curriculums and the different majors that are now available for. For kids to choose from, but they are very different than the majors that I had as part of my selection. Right.

So a lot of times parents look at their children and then they're trying to assess what their interests and their gifts are, and then they're trying to figure out how that child plugs into the system that they were raised in.

So we know a certain set of majors, for instance of biology and chemistry and this and that, and we say, all right, well does he, is he going to be a lawyer, is he going to be a chemist? Or is he going. And we are trying to kind of box him into what the model that we were raised with.

And that's the shortcoming because rather than trying to fit the kids into box that we are creating, we need the kids to really discover for themselves what they feel, what their interests are and what they're good at.

Now one thing that I do mention to parents, especially many of the people that are listening to your conversation, they are active and proactive parents. That means that they're staying on top of their kids performance and their development.

And what that means is that achievement in some place in the back of our mind is a big value. But just because somebody is good at something and is able to achieve doesn't mean that's their calling.

And this is something that a lot of people miss. So what ends up happening is you're saying, hey, you're really good at math so you should become an engineer. Boom, there's a box right there.

You just constructed some walls for that child that if math is you're, you're good at math, then let's close the blinders to all the other stuff. Right?

And I'm not saying that the parents are doing that on purpose, but child's mind when they're trying to consider options, you just cut a whole bunch of options out of their field of view basically.

So it's much better to ask open ended questions and inquire from the kids about dreams and visions, occasionally put visions and inspiration into them.

Things that they had never considered before but never lead them that, hey, come along with me and let me show you what you can do based on what you got. Because it's very logical, it makes sense. But then it takes you another 20 years to realize that that wasn't really your calling.

Kristina: 00:10:31

And I understand that because I mean we were kind of put in that box as well as like, hey, you know, you're both really smart so we know that you're going to go to college. Well that suddenly set up up for college, right?

And you know, luckily I knew from the beginning that I wanted to be a teacher, so that didn't really change me too much. But at the same time the expectation of oh, you have to get good grades so you can get into college so you can get the Scholarship.

So you precious, kind of like you were talking about that you probably grew up with.

But at the same time, we really do want to have our kids explore and share what they're thinking, what they're feeling, because they might be good at math, but they might be super good at singing, too. And so there might be something, a different career that they really want to explore.

And so with that, you know, you were talking about, you know, asking the open end questions. I also want to say give them experiences. Don't just keep it to just soccer, just sports, whatever.

Give them a wide variety of experiences when they're young so they get that inspiration like you were kind of talking about.

Herb: 00:11:30

And just because they're good at something doesn't mean they're gonna like to do it. Okay, so that.

That actually, I actually left the job of 14 years because what I was hired to do, I really, really liked, and I was really, really good at it. So they kept giving me more and more stuff to do because, oh, you're really good at this. Well, you can do this. You'll be good at that.

I was like, but I don't like doing that. So I got a job that I liked, and I was so competent, they kept making me do stuff I didn't like until I left.

And that is something that is also very important for children to learn, too. To basically stand up for yourself.

You might be good at it, but if you really don't like it, you need to be able to position and move into something that does fit what you enjoy. Because if you get stuck doing something you don't like, you won't have a happy life.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:12:23

And Christina, you mentioned something just a little while back. You said, give them experiences. I do want to emphasize for parents as a neuroscientist that virtual experiences do not transfer into real life.

We need real world experiences to have real life skill and real life knowledge. So.

So I know that there's a lot of virtual learning going on these days, but that virtual learning is like the equivalent of somebody knowing all of Google.

They know the information, but they don't know what to do with it because the mind and the body never connected in 3D in physical world to make use of that information. So that's really important.

Kristina: 00:13:10

Thank you for saying that. Because, yeah, I mean, we have. We do. We have so much online learning and virtual learning going on.

And so parents are like, oh, yeah, my kid is learning so much. They're watching YouTube all the time.

And what I heard you just say is that, yeah, they're watching it, they're gaining some information, but they don't have the knowledge to like implement and do it because they don't have the hands on the real life experiences.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:13:32

It just reminded me of something funny that, you know, as, as new parents, expecting parents, we read all these books and everything, right? Virtual learning. But then the actual learning happens once the baby arrives, and then you realize very different than what's in the book.

So it's the same. Absolutely. Yeah.

Kristina: 00:13:50

It's kind of like what her was saying.

You know, you, you have this little baby and you expect them to be one way and then all of a sudden their personality is a little bit different, their needs are different than you're expecting, and all of a sudden it's like, oh, this isn maybe I thought I was going to have.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:14:05

Yeah, so please do your kids a favor. Give them real experiences in the world so they're not surprised when they actually step into the real world.

Kristina: 00:14:14

Exactly.

Herb: 00:14:15

So one of the things that we talk about is how important it is to have structure and discipline for little children and not just have this open. You can do whatever you want and then we'll fix the problems kind of later because we don't want to stunt your growth.

We, we talk about how that's not necessarily the appropriate way because if you give them a cage in a structure, then they can grow through it instead of just spreading out.

So what do you say about our, our talking about that neuroscience from the neuroscience about how it's important to, to put a structure around children, not necessarily cage, because they can grow out and up inside it, but it gives them a structure to move up like a tomato cage. A tomato cage doesn't keep the tomato inside, but it allows it to get bigger and healthier.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:15:04

So I think, I think what you're describing, it always has to be put into context in the sense that you cannot blanket it out to 0 to 18 years of age. This needs to be something that there's an age process, because children, the thing that makes them children first and foremost is not their size.

It's actually the fact that their brain is undeveloped and is still developing. And it does take 20, 25 years for it to fully develop.

So what that means is that at each phase of their development, there are things that need to be there that is appropriate for that time period.

And then there are times when that is totally inappropriate because they have passed that age and the brain is developing some other area and has different needs.

Also you have to take into consideration development delays and neurodiversity because that blurs the line and it's no longer black and white as in zero to three and then you have had your third birthday. So starting tomorrow, we're going to be different. Right? It doesn't work like that neither.

So in going along with what you're saying, I believe that having structure and boundaries is absolutely critical within the first six years of a child's life. Now, there is a slight difference in the first half versus the second half. We're not going to get into too much detail on that.

But we need to look at this structure and the boundaries as safety nets, as things that, hey, you know what, if you go beyond the edge of the balcony, you're going to fall off. So there needs to be that boundary and the consequence is this. And so they need to understand what the consequence is based on the boundary.

And crossing that boundary. That is a safety thing for them. That means that they can run as fast as they want up to the edge, but not go through that boundary. Basically.

So for us is to provide that safety by creating those boundaries so that they can explore and feel confident about themselves. It's about building confidence.

Once they have built that confidence, they have shown that they understand the boundaries, like you said, then it's like, all right, now I understand the boundaries, I understand the consequences. Then the next part, which is usually 6 to 12 years of age, is what happens when I step on top of that crane. And yeah, the view is different.

I learned a whole bunch of new stuff. But also if I fall off of the crate, there's a learning opportunity now that how can I do things differently?

So problem solving and, and critical thinking becomes the 6 to 12 years ages need. But still within the whole boundary thing. Well, you went beyond the boundary, how are you going to deal with the consequences or what came up?

Basically, so the key, the boundary is still there. It's just being used differently from the outside instead of from the inside.

Herb: 00:17:58

And if you have boys and girls, the boys and the girls will push those boundaries differently. And most of the time you will be wondering how come your boy is still alive.

Because it looks like they're actively trying to kill themselves most of the time. But that is actually very important for young boys and young men because they're learning their boundaries as well as the parental boundaries.

And sometimes being on that, on that edge is where the most learning happens for young, for young boys. So might seem crazy, but you almost have to let boys almost kill themselves sometimes. Girls just don't tend to go there.

Kristina: 00:18:35

And the Reason why I was laughing when you were talking about running up to the edge and stopping is that we have a story from when we visited the Grand Canyon with our boys, right? And we were all excited. We would love going over and looking to the. To the barrier and looking over the edge to see the beauty down below.

Well, someone here beside me is a little nervous around heights.

Herb: 00:18:56

No, it was. It was different. I've never experienced this before. You know, I'm afraid of heights, so I climbed trees, I push myself.

I got to the edge of the Grand Canyon, and my body stopped moving. It's like I could not physically make my body move to the edge of that mild drop. And here my kids are running up to it, and I'm like.

And every time that happened, my body just shut down more. And so I had to talk to my kids.

It's like, look, I know you're safe, but I'm in a lot of pain right here, and this is messing with me, so can you please slow down? Not for your safety, but for my sanity. And they agreed.

And so they walked a little slower to the edges, but at the same time, it's like, yeah, they were. Boom. And I'm like, I can't move. I'm stuck. I literally can't move.

Kristina: 00:19:44

If something happened, he couldn't get to them. Yeah.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:19:47

Herb, you just actually expressed something that is oftentimes overlooked by our institutions and education system, which is the emotional and internal connection side of things. You know, it's all about targets and goals and achievements.

And sometimes human beings need to understand that the greatest asset that we have is the community, the relationships. We're not solitary creatures. Even our brain thrives on making connections within itself, with the body, and with the world. So.

So being able to express and put into words the feelings that you're feeling, what your ask is from those around you. That is something that you don't get at school. They don't teach you any of that.

And that's something that families have a huge responsibility on, educating them. So, again, that goes back to experiences. When you share experiences, naturally, the relationship.

Like, how many of these bonding, relation experiences do corporations hold where you go into the wilderness and you do stuff together? Why? Because you're building relationship, and you need to be able to communicate with one another, and that is essential.

More essential than the academia.

Kristina: 00:21:01

Yeah. And that leads us into that communication role. Right. And that kind of being, that role model.

One of the things that we speak with parents about is that when you're doing your daily life and if you're like speaking it out loud, especially when your kids are little, then you're being that role model and you're showing them how you're thinking or how you're problem solving or what you're doing and then sitting down and problem solving with the child when they're having that issue, when they've crossed one of those boundaries or when they're exploring something new. So talk a little bit about how would you start that communication with a child?

Maybe you haven't done it very much and you're really like, I want to make that a stronger communication link. So what tip can you give parents around that?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:21:44

Great question. So we're going to go back to the different phases of development because you always have to be respectful of that.

Asking a 5 year old child to perform at an 8 year old child is going to create anxiety or depression. Asking somebody from an 8 year old to do perform at a 5 year old level kind of stunts their growth potential.

So we need to make sure that we're always cognizant of that. So when it comes to communication, the 0 through 3 age is the part where it's a lot of physical and body language stuff.

It's making sure that you're staying connected and you're modeling the behavior to your kids. So if you stub your toe on something, it's like ow, I stubbed my toe. That really hurts. And really going through the motions of caring for it.

That teaches the kid, this is what happens when you're hurting or boom, something happened and that really made me upset and I'm really frustrated and I can't talk right now, so give me two minutes. Like that kind of role modeling behavior is extremely important in 023.

Now in 3 to 6 the children start trying to test boundaries as we just mentioned and understand boundaries.

So really when it comes to communication is communicating what the boundaries are, communicating what the consequences are and being able to show them love even if they fail that, you know, it doesn't matter if you fail, it doesn't matter if you win. Ultimately I'm here for you and it's you doing your best and kind of putting words into how they are performing, how they are feeling.

I can see that you're really sad. I can see that you worked really hard on this. These are the kind of things that you want to talk and communicate to your kids.

You don't want to say good job or you don't want to ask. Like if you ask them how was your day? I know the, the Question good. And that's about it, right?

So, so you got to draw that, draw it out of them to now start communicating and using words about describing things. So the description and whether it's for feelings, for events, for things, that's all like they like a toy. What do you like about this toy?

Or I can see that you like this toy because of blah, blah, blah. So that's the kind of communication at that age. When you go 6 to 12.

Now this is as we talked about it, empirical thinking, critical thinking, problem solving. So it's like you go to the playground, I can see that you fell and it hurts. Like, what are you going to do about it?

Are you going to do something different? Do you want to go home? So giving them options and having them run through the list of things that is available to them.

Do you want to meet with this friend or that friend? Do you want to eat this food or that food?

And trying to have them become decision makers and become good at decision making, but also live up to the responsibility of making decisions in case it doesn't go right. Or even if it goes right, it always has unforeseen consequences that now you have to course correct for. Right?

So that's the 6 to 12 years of age now 12 to 18. Communication is different. You can no longer talk at your kid, expecting them to listen. You have to talk with your kids.

So your role is changing from a parent to a future friend because they're going to become young adults. So you need to have cerebral conversations, you have to have passionate conversation.

So approach things from the mind perspective, approach it from the heart perspective so that they can get connected with the mind, with the heart. They can see different similarities, but at the same time they can express how their mind or their heart might be different than yours.

Because this is the age where they're establishing their own identity. So they need to be able to tell you what makes them different than you.

And if there's disagreement, which 9 out of 10 times there is, they need to be able to verbalize it. Simply yelling out or acting out or having kind of those kind of meltdown sessions, you know, you're not two anymore.

So you've had words, you've had consequences, you've had problem solving.

So at this point you need to be able to tell me exactly what it is you plan to do, what it is that you're experiencing and drawing that conversation out. And it's much more conversational at that point. So communication, I think that's the evolution of conversation and I Love that.

Kristina: 00:26:03

Because. Yeah. I mean, because a lot of parents, you know, they just, they know things change as the kids get older.

But the way you laid it out really makes a lot of sense. So I hope parents really go back and listen to this section again and adjust how you are communicating, how you are talking to, and start early.

But if you haven't started early, start right away. Because guess what?

When they get to those teenage years and they want to just yell and walk away, you want that communication, that relationship built so that they can keep going.

Herb: 00:26:32

And when we were growing up, we didn't have this kind of information. We didn't, we didn't have this. So when we became parents, we didn't know this either.

And you know, part of the way society has separated, so we used to have like large family units where the grandparents and the aunts and the uncles were all raising the children together. And now it's just like two people with just their limited information and resources trying to raise children instead of a whole extended family.

And so that changes, that changes a little bit.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:27:07

I was gonna just say one more piece on communication. And it's not just about communication, but also behavior as well. Because behavior says a lot as far as communication is concerned.

So when it comes to your children's performance, as in behavior, as in communication, as in leading their life, I always talk about leading your life as opposed to following instructions. Because we want to raise kids that can go ahead and be leaders for their own life. It's one thing for me to say make your bed and then you make it.

It's another for you to wake up and make your bed. Completely different process.

So one of the things that I always tell the kids is your behavior, what I see you manifest is more representative of your age than your actual age number.

So when we're trying to communicate or deal with the kids, we need to emphasize that because there's plenty of 40 year olds that are not mature and there are also kids that act way above their age and they need to be respected and be given space to continue their development instead of wait for everybody to catch up with them. So that is very important to let the kids know that how I interact with you is based on how old you show up in front of me.

And that's really important. So if a 12 year old decides to act like a 5 year old, then guess what? They're going to have a five year old conversation.

Kristina: 00:28:43

Yeah, we have what, what we often call as old souls. You know, there's just these kids that just get it. And they just present themselves in so much an older manner than what they really are by number.

Age. Yeah.

Herb: 00:28:54

And I don't have a lot of childish adult friends because if they haven't grown up, that just doesn't fit with me. So I get it. And another thing is like, as soon as you bring your child home, you are their role model.

You are modeling the behaviors that they are going to learn. Whether you, whether you accept it or not, it's happening.

So you can either take that responsibility and build yourself some tools and, and make that an actual job on purpose. You're gonna do it either way. You're still going to be your kid's role model. Do it intentionally.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:29:33

Yeah, absolutely.

Kristina: 00:29:35

Absolutely.

So lots of times we'd like to, you know, really, that's another reason why bringing education home is here is like, we bring on people like you is like, as parents are building that toolbox and becoming that intentional parent, that passionate parent that wants this child to be the best that they can be, we have connections like yours. So, Dr. L, we want to make sure that you also, you know, get your information out there.

So tell the parents how they can get a hold of you right now so that you know, all of this information that you've already given, they can get more from you as they want to work with you.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:30:10

Absolutely. Well, I would love to. I would love to leave our listeners with a gift.

And that gift not only gives you some insight to what we have just discussed, but also an opportunity to stay connected with us for upcoming events and things that might might be coming up. We have like, hundreds of events from big to small and international and to local events.

So the gift that I have for you is called three principles to unlocking your child's potential. And I have shared the link with Christina and Herb.

And please make sure that you go ahead and click on it and stay connected with us and let us know what your challenges are. And. And we would love to be able to integrate you into our community of families and experts who served.

Kristina: 00:30:59

Excellent. Thank you so very, very much.

And you know, you also are connected with the UN and that is something that a lot of parents, you know, they hear about this big thing called the UN and we're excited about that. But what in the. How does the UN connect with families? Tell us a little bit about your mission in that area?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:31:19

Great question.

Well, the first thing everybody needs to know, it actually is written in the United Nations Charter, like the bylaws of the framework, the Constitution of United nations, is that the Family is the foundational unit for society.

So I find it very difficult to build a global order, an international set of standards on anything if you're not going to actually look at how you can support families and make sure that every problem and everything that we see, whether it's in the news or in our local communities or institutions, all of those can be somehow traced back and addressed at home.

And for me, I'm like, okay, we have people as politicians, as educators, as investors, as business people that we have to pay, and they have to do research on this stuff and spend a lot of time, create programs that then you have to convince people to opt into, to go ahead and participate in. But guess what? Parents are volunteers.

They work 24, 7 for 18 years straight, sometimes longer, and they have a genuine interest in making sure that all of those areas are addressed for their families and for their children.

So why not utilize that passion and that level of dedication in building society from foundation instead of waiting till we have problems and then we have to bring it to the United nations floor and pass a resolution about why Russia invaded Ukraine and all these other things.

Kristina: 00:33:00

Exactly. Yeah. And that's where we come from as well. It's like, let's start with that foundation, that family unit, right?

There's a lot of people, like you're saying, charring from the top down to fix things. Let's start at the bottom and fix it up. It's one of the things that you.

In my classroom I was so frustrated with, and this is a frustration with our system, is that the children had to fail for two years before they got help and support. And I kept telling all of my people in the school district, it's like, no, no, no.

You flood kindergarten and first grade and second grade with lots of help. So no child falls through the cracks. And then we're not trying to fix them in fifth and sixth grade when they can't read.

So it's the same kind of thing, right? It's where we're coming from is vibrant family education, bringing education home. And then your group, you know, the.

The role model makers and everything. So, you know, parents, listen to this. Don't let it get out of control. Let's do it now.

Herb: 00:33:56

Yeah, they're your kids. It's your family. It's your future, and it's the future of the world. It's. The kids are the most important.

And so many people, if they say, what are your values? What. What do you value most in your life? Family is usually in the top three somewhere. Or if not the top five. It's up there.

But then if you look at people's actions, especially around their children, they go on default. They, they, it's, it's like a family pet. They just feed it and they take care of it and they expect the school to raise it.

And it's, it's your child, it's your family. You're doing it for a purpose. Let's, let's do, just do it with purpose. And you know it.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:34:38

It's.

Herb: 00:34:38

The most important thing you're going to do for the 18 years is to, is to continue life on this planet. So let's, let's make it worth it.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:34:47

I'm gonna paraphrase a comedian, George Carlin when he said, you know, it's easy to watch the news and complain about our leaders and politicians, but the reality of it is this is the best we've got. This is what we have raised and this is the cream of the crop, basically.

If you're not happy with it, let's go ahead and raise better leaders, better politicians and better human beings, basically.

Kristina: 00:35:13

So, yeah, wonderful. And the last thing I want to touch on because in your bio you also have your foundation, the Optimal Beginnings.

Tell us just a little bit about that and what that mission is like so that you know, if people want to get involved with that organization or maybe they need some help from that organization. What is that all about?

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:35:33

ation that was established in: 2024

And they, because they are local, they understand that the local problems that the families are facing and we bring attention to those, we try to connect them together and we try to run missions at times. Right now, as we speak, we have a mission in Tanzania that's ongoing.

We also have a project in African development, bringing healthcare to the continent. But generally the goal is for us to be able to bring communities, bring families together. We talked about connecting and making bonds.

One of my goals for the next generation is to understand that they are much more impactful than they realize that their courses, their education system, their communities cannot even show how important they are to the world and that they can play a much bigger role than currently is within their imagination. And we encourage them, them to come to our sessions.

We have a monthly mission report where we bring their attention to these different causes and hopefully one of these is going to inspire you. And when you get inspired, you can move the world and make it the way you see. And we hope that that's for the better.

Kristina: 00:37:09

Beautiful. That is absolutely beautiful. Yeah. Because, you know, like, we talk with families, it's like get involved in your local community.

They talk about socialization being an issue.

Well, it's not an issue when you're out there helping at food banks or playing at the park or helping other groups and community organizations to really give back to the community and learn about the community. So thank you very much for that. Dr. L. This has been an amazing conversation.

I really appreciate everything that you've given our parents to think about and to put into action moving forward. So thank you very much for being here today.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:37:42

It has been a delight. Thank you so much for both of you for your inquisitive questions on the points topic and keep doing what you're doing.

I appreciate it and thank you listeners for tuning in. Yep.

Herb: 00:37:54

And I would also like to thank you for being here today because like you said, so many people watch TV and just complain about what's going on. And instead you actually saw that.

And instead of complaining, you created organizations, you're talking to the UN you're going out and you're making a difference and you're trying to make the world a better place. And that is according to. I can't remember the name, but that is the Hero's Journey finding Joe. Joe. Oh, I forgot it right there.

But you went out, you fought your battles, you slayed your dragon, and instead of just complaining and settling down, you're coming back and you're sharing your help with the rest of the world. You are out putting yourself out there, making a difference. So instead of just complaining, you're changing the world.

And that makes you a hero on a hero's journey. And I so thank you for being here today on our show.

Kristina: 00:38:43

Show. All right, audience, you know what time it is.

It's time to like and star and review and share and all of those things because there was so much gold dropped in this episode today around neuroscience, brain development, kids, communication, and then all these wonderful organizations that also help families. So make sure you're sharing it out there. And until next.

Herb: 00:39:06

And I just got to say, Joseph Campbell, Joseph Campbell on the Hero's Journey. I got it.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:39:11

It.

Kristina: 00:39:12

All right, until next time, audience. Bye bye for now.

Dr. Ali Lankenrani: 00:39:17

Bye, guys.